The Cynic
A cynical spin on the news.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Halloween and Go Joe!

First I must say god bless Joe Biden for this zinger:

"And the irony is, Rudy Giuliani, probably the most underqualified man since George Bush to seek the presidency, is here talking about any of the people here. Rudy Giuliani... I mean, think about it! Rudy Giuliani. There's only three things he mentions in a sentence -- a noun, a verb, and 9/11. There's nothing else! There's nothing else! And I mean this sincerely. He's genuinely not qualified to be president."

Unfortunately he's got less of a chance of being the next president than I do and I only say that because I'll get some of the black vote in the boroughs of Queens and Brooklyn.

So today is Halloween and I'm all about the one day where women above 16 and under 25 dress in highly revealing clothing and call them costumes. Last year I went to a party as Hef and two my two friends (who were predictably, Playboy bunnies) were with me. Fun costume. Fun party. Otherwise if you dress up on Halloween and you're not a kid and you're not going to a party...you need help. If you dress up for Halloween at work, you need help :). End of story.

However, as I reach into my pocket to buy candy for tonight's panhandlers I must remember my old Halloween days back in New York. I miss those times. I miss those nights trick or treating. My favorite candy....hmmm I was (and continue to be) partial to Kit Kats, Twix and of course the greatest candy on earth Mike & Ike.

My mom used to buy those Hershey's mix packs. You know the ones with the Hershey Bars, the Krackel, Mr. Goodbar and Special Dark. Poor Special Dark, it got avoided like the plague. Come Christmas time the candy jar was filled with those unopened Special Dark bars and as always mom would melt them into her Christmas cookies.

Those were the days.

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Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Bye Bye Bob Goulet

I'd be a bad blogger if I didn't mention the death of the great Canadian crooner Robert Goulet. While many people (and I include myself) weren't familiar with much (or any) amount of Robert Goulet's body of work. We do remember him being immortalized by Will Ferrell on Saturday Night Live.

One of my favorite pieces of sketch comedy. Yes Ferrell uses the N-word twice in the skit. I don't think it was meant to be malicious.

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Monday, October 29, 2007

Exercising All Options

I've been crushing on this manager at Enterprise Rent-A-Car recently. During the football season I'm a frequent customer so she's seen me a bit and naturally she's blown away by my boyish good looks and irresistable charm.

Anyway, I try to keep the flirting to a minimum, but I had a golden opportunity today as she checked me in.

Enterprise blondie: So did you head up to Tallahassee this weekend?

Me: Nope, went to Jacksonville.

Enterprise blondie: You went to the game.

Me: Sure did.

Enterprise blondie: You go to the games a lot. Do you have a problem getting tickets.

Me: Nah, I get as many as I need for whichever game I want to go to (total lie, but it sounded good).

Enterprise blondie: Could you get me tickets for the Thanksgiving weekend?

Me: Sure...how many you need?

Enterprise blondie: Two

(SHIT!)

Me: Sure, no problem...who are you taking?

(Please say "sorosity sister")

Enterprise blondie: My boyfriend

(SHIT!)

Me: I can do that...so how long you been dating?

Enterprise blondie: Over a year, he's a big fan too...

Me: Ahhh that's good.

Enterprise blondie: Yup that's not a problem is it?

Me: What your boyfriend?

Enterprise blondie: Yeah...

Me: Nah....I can get around boyfriends....it's husbands that give me trouble. Have a good day.

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