The Cynic
A cynical spin on the news.
Thursday, November 09, 2006

Ed Bradley RIP...

...one of the greatest broadcast journalists of all time dies too soon from Leukemia.

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Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Another Election Night Gone

Man those countdowns suck. I don't know how Mudge does it. Although in reading his countdowns they seem more like a confession about his crappy taste in music more than anything else :).

Anyway, my thoughts on the mid-term elections (and other happenings).

First Victim of the New Congress: None other than Donald Rumsfeld. My mom taught my to either complement or stay quiet so I'll end this by saying, it takes a special man to be the biggest ass in a room that includes Dick Cheney and Rick Santorum. And the stock market thanks you for it!

Meanwhile Jack Cafferty Needs a New Momma: His final words on Rummy -- "They didn’t even mention that he’s also an obnoxious jerk and a war criminal."

You Know Who Sucks?: Ken Mehlman....and Rick Santorum....I really fucking hate Rick Santorum.

It Wasn't a Good Night to be a Black Republican: See Michael Steele, probably the best candidates the Republican Party put up this season. Lynn Swann lost as well, but no one likes him anyway.

It Wasn't a Good Night to be a Black Democrat: See Harold Ford Jr., probably the best candidate the Democratic Party put up this season. He will be a superstar politican once he gets in office.

However if you were a Gay Republican: You're the new Governor of Florida. Who says my state isn't progressive...and a little dopey...But we aren't completely stupid.

Meanwhile In New York: Senator Clinton bitchslaps another schlep that couldn't get within 40 points of her. Hillary would be a fine presidential candidate in 2008 and don't let anyone tell you different. The Clintons are smart enough not to run in elections they can't win and Hillary is as electable as anyone else, especially with a solid running mate (like Evan Bayh or...Harold Ford Jr.). Republicans want Democrats to think she's this evil, divisive spirit because they are afraid of a woman leader and because they know most Democrats are pussies and will back down anyway.

The Return of Joementum: I like Lieberman. I know he's for the war. Well no one's perfect. But he's also for the environment, gay marriage rights, gun control laws and he's been a champion for the middle class (at least the middle class of Connecticut) for many years now. What a self-righteous prick! I was excited for Ned Lamont, but I'm satisfied with Joe Lieberman. He's a decent guy and he never tried to diddle with a page.

You Know Who Else I Hate?: Rick Santorum.

In Nancy Pelosi I Trust: She's no Newt Gingrinch for one thing. And she knows how to work with others. Yes she's female and I know how that scares everyone, but she's an experienced politician who is more willing to compromise than most are willing to admit.

In Conclusion: I'm more interested in the Bush presidency then ever before. America let him off the hook last night. They decided to forgive his frat boy-esque nature and allow him to remake himself as leader in a more centrally-based landscape. Bush might not speak proper English, but he's an opportunist and with the opportunity to make himself look like a centrist leader behind a new regime that will allow him to ignore the demands of the neo-cons he might excel. Of course there's a better chance he'll fail, but if he succeeds, it will be known as one of the greatest turnarounds in a presidency. Like I said, America let him off the hook.

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Monday, November 06, 2006

Top 10 Chappelle Sketches (#1)

The countdown that will never end finally ends and as always number one is no surprise.

1. Frontline: Clayton Bigsby. I believe the Clayton Bigsby sketch is the greatest, most controversial, most daring piece of sketch comedy I've ever seen. For those of you that don't know about the sketch it's Chappelle playing the part of Bigsby, a blind white race supremist who just happens to be black. Of course Bigsby isn't aware he is black until very late in the sketch when he provides one final nugget of excellent humor. In the end I don't want to say much because I don't want to ruin it for anyone who hasn't seen it. But I believe this sketch, the fact that Chappelle had the stones to do this sketch, is what turned him into a star and what eventually led to the show's demise. Chappelle constantly tried to reach the level of laughter and shock that Clayton Bigsby provided, but he couldn't get there and rather then try, he just stopped and decided to do something else. So here's the masterpiece in its entirety.


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