It looks like I have a meeting tomorrow with someone about something. Of course I know who and why but I can't offer any answers until later. My expectations are somewhere in between low and optimistic. My car has to go into the shop too, expectations are somewhere between devastating and disastrous.

It's weird but there are times like these when I really miss my Ledger Edge. I miss her whenever I think about her and why would haven't spoken in a couple years but right now I know she could listen and provide the insight I need to get me through a tough time.

The weird irony of life is if I get this job in Atlanta (chances are slim) that we'd be in the same city again and would probably run into each other because that's how life is. I hope that doesn't happen...I mean I want the job in Atlanta or any job that pays a decent salary, but I don't want to run into her and have that awkward moment between former friends.

Sometimes I want answers. I want to know why she cut me out of her life but I'm slightly worried about the answers because I know it will confirm my belief that something I said or did or didn't do really disappointed her. I would just apologize probably. At this stage that's all I could do but I'd apologize and ask for a forgiveness. I don't really want a new start, I'd rather just pick up where the old start left off.

Anyway I'm rambling, so back to the meeting tomorrow -- I hope it's better than what I expect it will be and maybe something good will come out of it. I need a job fast and frankly I'm not going to be selective. At this point anything to get me out of the walls of my home for 8 hours a day will suffice.

Labels: 2009