...I know when it's time to blog here again because I'm usually reading a ton of my old blog posts. I really would like to come back to this thing full time but I can't commit to anything right now.

I got a lot on my mind. That's really nothing new as I have always embraced the clutter in my head. I feel quite happy with a lot on my mind. It keeps me from feeling a sense of worthlessness or a lack of accomplishment. If I have nothing on my mind, what purpose do I serve?

I've probably been working legally for about 17 years and 15 of those years I've made my money in the journalism industry. Mostly newspapers and then to more specialized publication and now through wires and online media as an "independent contractor". But over the next seven days it will be judgment time in my career. Maybe things will break right and I'll continue to do what I love with some financial stability or it's time to move on. It's a difficult move because I've always tried to be loyal to the business even when the business (or maybe the people behind the business) proved itself (or themselves) to be a fraud to the people that fought so hard to protect it.

The jobs, while similar in description, couldn't be much different. One company wants to see how far I am willing to go to work for them. Will I pay my own travel for an interview? Will I do it quickly so I miss the two-week "cheaper" flight window? Will I spend a year working for a subsidiary without the good company benefits? The other company is probably considered to be at least part of the industry standard but they move at a speed that is generously described as slow. So at this point I leave it to fate. Either I'm still going to be here or I won't. Nothing more or less. If it doesn't work I'll move on. I can move on. Five years ago I wouldn't have been able to, now I could do it without blinking. It's time for bed

Labels: Employment in America

Back in like 2005, 2006, 2007, I was part of this small, but tight little blog community and it was pretty dope. It was like having a dinner conversation party 3-4 times a week. We would talk about a wide assortment of stuff like politics, dating, baseball, music, anything pop culture really. And we all brought something different and exciting to the table.

As expected many of them have moved on over time. Jill stopped blogging a while back. Who knows what she's doing, she's a thespian type so she could be doing some big broadway play for all I know.

Blair is still blogging but he closed down his personal blog for one focused on his sports passion, Marquette basketball, and I have to say that he has built up Cracked Sidewalks to be something special.

A few others are still hanging around. Perfectly Cromulent is still going strong but PSoTD will be retired in the next couple of weeks and I can keep up with the The Spin Doctor between his blog and Twitter.

Still I can't help but think that all would be right in the world if just one man returned.

The Chronic Curmudgeon.

I've gotten a chance to know Chris a little and unfortunately my job (at the time) kept me from a golden opportunity to meet him and Blair and others in Philadelphia for his bachelor's party. Some I now regret, especially since I got laid off from the job last month. Now between a crazy gig at GM and family life I know Mudge's plate is full.

But still, think about all the things we've missed out on the last two years since he posted.

-- We got a black president, at least partially black, I'm claiming him. Definitely blacker than Bill Clinton, the last black president.

-- Sarah Palin

-- A-Rod on Drugs

-- His engagement and wedding

-- His new life as a stepfather

-- This depressing economy and his thoughts on how they have treated the industry he works for.

-- Britney's comeback

-- The emergence of the Tampa Bay Rays

-- Ummm....other stuff...

-- More stuff...

-- Fantasy baseball

-- I'm running out of things to convince him to comeback.

So fine. I'll just ask. Chris, my friend, return back to your roots. Let's either get the old band back together or try to find new band mater in the virtual world. Twitter is cool for the small stuff but 140 words is barely enough for a title to a post.

And if asking doesn't work, I'll probably beg...Eventually. Right now I'm going to just ask and assume you've got a minor minor itch.

Labels: Blogs

...My Super Bowl week in the Tampa Bay area was interesting.

I had a little work, doing some drops for my good friend's Monster Energy Drink promotions team. It was fun, albeit quite rainy during the middle of the week, and it was pretty good money. Who am I to complain?

By Friday evening I was working for a local paper covering boys district soccer.

Three hours later I was standing two feet from Wyclef and watching Lindsay Lohan hold court at the ESPN party.

That was my week in a nutshell.

Now it's over which means the work is gone and it's back to the grind for yours truly. I needed the Super Bowl. It was good to see a lot of old friends in the business and it got me out of this jobless depression for a while. I was hoping that when the big game ended I'd be full of piss and vigor trying to generate my next opportunity. So far I'm not as pissy and vigory as I'd like but I do see something happening in the future.

Now I just need to get there.

Labels: 2009

It looks like I have a meeting tomorrow with someone about something. Of course I know who and why but I can't offer any answers until later. My expectations are somewhere in between low and optimistic. My car has to go into the shop too, expectations are somewhere between devastating and disastrous.

It's weird but there are times like these when I really miss my Ledger Edge. I miss her whenever I think about her and why would haven't spoken in a couple years but right now I know she could listen and provide the insight I need to get me through a tough time.

The weird irony of life is if I get this job in Atlanta (chances are slim) that we'd be in the same city again and would probably run into each other because that's how life is. I hope that doesn't happen...I mean I want the job in Atlanta or any job that pays a decent salary, but I don't want to run into her and have that awkward moment between former friends.

Sometimes I want answers. I want to know why she cut me out of her life but I'm slightly worried about the answers because I know it will confirm my belief that something I said or did or didn't do really disappointed her. I would just apologize probably. At this stage that's all I could do but I'd apologize and ask for a forgiveness. I don't really want a new start, I'd rather just pick up where the old start left off.

Anyway I'm rambling, so back to the meeting tomorrow -- I hope it's better than what I expect it will be and maybe something good will come out of it. I need a job fast and frankly I'm not going to be selective. At this point anything to get me out of the walls of my home for 8 hours a day will suffice.

Labels: 2009

...What happened to me?

8 years ago I was a prospect. A player. A future big timer. People from the New York office would call me and say "man there are a lot of powerful people who are very impressed by you". And at that time they should have been. I was 24 and I was part of the "new journalist" -- completely adapt at doing things the old way but keeping both eyes on the future and this internet thing that everyone was getting into.

I'm not sure when the wheels began to fall off, maybe it was when I got denied a management opportunity, but whatever happened I decided the newspaper game wasn't for me anymore to I skipped to do a start-up magazine.

It was a good move. I learned a lot about management and organization. I learned a lot of new skills and I learned how to manufacture large projects with very limited manpower. Three years worth of magazines into it and I was finally getting to a position of comfort going into 2009.

Then disaster strikes.

You know the old story. These are tough times, this is a tough economy, etc. etc. End story is the same -- we don't have the money and unfortunately pal, you don't have a job. That sucks but it's the game we have to play in 2009.

Now I'm stuck in no man's land. There are no jobs in my industry. The journalism business has been completely sucked dry. All those powerful people who were impressed by me have taken buyouts and moved on.

In 2009 it's different. I'm just looking for anything to survive right now. I like living in St. Petersburg and if I have to go work at someplace for a year or two until things get a little better. I can do that. As the title says, we're in a different world. Everything costs more but everyone's making a lot less. It's not the way we planned it but the world doesn't wait for us to adjust. Much like it was hundreds of years ago, it's a game of survival. Hopefully no one gets eaten alive.

Labels: 2009

As Always...Whitney!

One of the most groundbreaking, articulate, irreverent performance artists of all time.

He will be missed.

Labels: Comedy, Death, Pop Culture