The Cynic
A cynical spin on the news.
Saturday, June 05, 2004

I'll Show You Freedom Fries


You know I'd raise my other finger to you if all these cameras weren't around.  Posted by Hello

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You've Been Juiced!


Nah man...I haven't been to the weapons store in...two...three weeks.  Posted by Hello

I miss O.J., I can't lie. People like O.J. make the rest of the world cringe and the thought of his new reality show gives a new definition to crash TV.

O.J. on Nicole:

"I regret the death of Nicole," he said. "But from June 12, from the moment I was awakened that day (in Chicago), I did everything I could do. I flew right home. I offered to talk to police. I offered to take a lie-detector test."

O.J. on M.J.:

"I saw Michael as asexual," Simpson said. "I know he loved kids, and after my trial the only place we could feel free for my kids to go with their friends was Neverland. He would have it open for us with cotton candy, popcorn, ice cream, everything."

O.J. on his presumed guilt:

"Everyone tries to find a reason for that: the evidence, the jury," he said, adding they ignore what he said is the real reason.

"I was innocent," he said.


You tell 'em Juice!

O.J. tells you kiss his ass and watch his new reality show.





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Thursday, June 03, 2004

I....am...Number ONE!


You want to live the life like David Scott Tidmarsh? Well it takes one Autochthonous at a time.  Posted by Hello

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Spellbound


Feeling the pressure from the family legacy started by 2002 Scripps Howard spelling bee champion Pratyush Buddiga, Akshay Buddiga faints upon hearing the word -- Alopecoid. Buddiga, however, proves his clutch ability and later rose to spell the perfectly.  Posted by Hello

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In my world "pococurante" means victory!
 Posted by Hello

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ESPN and Insomnia

After a whopping four hours of sleep I've been watching ESPN since this morning. Watching this much ESPN worries me, I'm really trying to not to consume my life with sports being that it's my job and all but sometimes I can't help it.

So basically I saw Jennifer Capriati get absolutely routined by some Russian chick in the French Open semifinals. Just as well, I can't stand Capriati, she'll never be half as good as she thought she could be.

However, it got exciting after that because they showed clips of the 2003 Spelling Bee. Oh hell yeah! I love the friggin Spelling Bee. I love the great "stall tactic" and the patience shown by the judges. Example.

Judge: The word is Cowlstaff

Kid: Cowlstaff

Judge: Cowl-staff

Kid: Cowl-stiff?

Judge: Cow-l-st-a-ff

Kid: Cool-staff?

Judge (irritated): CO-W-L-S-T-A-FF

Kid: Definition?

Judge: A staff or pole on which a vessel is supported between two persons. --Suckling.

Kid: Cowstalf?

Judge: COWLSTAFF

Kid: Cowlstiff?

Judge: We've prounced it correctly nine times, please spell the word.

Kid: Is it a root of cowl -- the hood of a hooded robe?

Judge: Yes

Kid: Cowlstaff

Judge: Yes

Kid: C-O-W-L-S-T-A-F-F

*applause*

Over and over again. I might TiVo the 2004 tournament since I have to go to the car dealer, however, I don't feel right TiVo'ing a spelling bee. I mean TiVo'ing The Restaurant is one thing, but TiVo'ing a spelling bee. Yikes.

However the Bee has met its match. The Mathcounts tournament. The Mathematics version of the Spelling Bee. These kids a.k.a Mathletes (yeah..I know) are absolute freaks, I could never crunch numbers like this. Example

Judge: If 200 to the 10 squared + 2 = n + 10 + the equat...

*ding*

Kid: 4.15!

Judge: Correct!

I think I'm developing an eye twitch.

I need to shower and I need breakfast, it's 12:30.

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Wednesday, June 02, 2004


Hey Bill, will you check out the ass on that one.  Posted by Hello

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Tuesday, June 01, 2004

Back in Business

Finally got back to the gym today. Boy that was a scary site. Nothing worst than being a 5-day a fixture and missing three weeks due to vacation and work. Everyone looks at your strange, the new girls don't know who you are, the old ones barely remember you. But it was a nice hour, a good 25 jog, 30 minutes on free weights and a great stretching session.

Dave is apparently going to give me a prototype to our joint business venture with PresStyle. Hopefully this will go somewhere.

Much apologies to my friend Rick. Calgary won and he'll have to fly back to Tampa today just to fly back to Calgary tomorrow night after Game 5. Oof.

I'll do a Restaurant review later. However let it be known that Rocco is a horrible businessman. He's yet to realize that he's not a partner, just a chef. How can he be a partner of something he put no money into? Yikes. He's also a terrible manager.

More later.

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Monday, May 31, 2004

This or That

Hmmm, not the Friday Five so we'll call this the Sunday Six. Even though it's early early Monday morning. Heck it's Sunday on the West Coast.

1) Mary-Kate or Ashley? Hmm, really this isn't close. Ashley's got her twin sister by a good few numbers. We'll say Ashley is a solid 8, while Mary-Kate is pushing a 6. Even the Sports Guy agrees with me.

2) Britney or Christina? Christina's always got the super slut factor working in her favor. However this isn't close either. Britney's always managed to look better, even when she was in her short-hair phase.

3) Beer or Wine? Hmm interesting switch. Saturday night I had a beer but usually I prefer wine.

4) Shaq or Kobe? Hmmm three-time Finals MVP or an accused rapist. We'll go with Shaq here.

5) Biggie or Tupac? Boy this is a toughie and by every right I should say Tupac. However, Biggie is from Brooklyn and proved that you can be profound and profane at the same time. Gimme the homeboy.

6) Coke or Pepsi? What's Pepsi :)

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