The Cynic
A cynical spin on the news.
Friday, March 04, 2005

Lord I Was Born a Rambling Man...

Current Music: Average White Band/Earth, Wind & Fire

I love winning arguments about obscure things. Take a rehash of a recent work conversation.

Corey: So Winter Haven's going to kill this team eh? There's no way they are going to lose.
Roy: Well if they become too cocky.
Corey: So what if they do, they are 25 points better than anyone in the state. This ain't the Karate Kid.
Roy: But that's my point, like in the Karate Kid, Daniel won once the Cobra Kai kids got all cocky, like Johnny.
Corey: Johnny wasn't cocky...He was a little confident but he wasn't cocky.
Roy: Yes he was.
Corey: No he wasn't...You're think of the "Put 'em in a body bag" guy or Dutch.
Roy: Johnny was cocky as hell.
Corey: Maybe when it came to Elizabeth Shue, but when it came to whipping ass he was the prized student of the Cobra Kai. He was completely focused, he was like a technician. They were all cool riding around on their bikes and shit, but when it came to beating someone's ass Johnny was dead serious.
Roy: Mmmm you're right because wasn't Dutch...
Corey: ...Yeah, Dutch was the cocky ass who got caught struting in the All-Valley quarterfinals...He hit Daniel with a round kick and spent so long patting himself on the back he got caught with a short punch to the chest and lost. Remember how pissed he was?
Roy: Oh yeah...

(After that we went back to watching Rocky III and laughing at the stupidity...But it's amazing what kind of arguments the great Billy Zabka/Chad McQueen team can spawn...Really I wonder why no one ever tried to recaputure the Zabka/McQueen chemistry. There was a market from a Cobra Kai film, I'm convinced this could've been the modern day Kung Fu).

-- Speaking of Rocky...Look at the trangressions of that series...In Rocky, he's some club fighter who gives Apollo the fight of his life. In Rocky II, he beat Apollo, there was no other way for the franchise to go. He had to win. In Rocky III he loses to Clubber Lang and then he beats him in the rematch. In Rocky IV he defeats....Russia. Seriously he defeats Russia, he defeats communism, he made Gorbachev applaud!

-- Here's how bad the acting was in Rocky III, they needed Carl Weathers to bring credibility to the flick. Chew on that for a bit. However, I can safely say that Mr. T was at his cinematic best for that movie.

-- I'm stuck in a major philosophical difference with my boss at work. It's worst than it sounds because like he was sick this week and I was thrilled. I'm serious. I was so happy he wasn't there. And the scary part is I like the guy as a person, but as a boss he's grating on me.

-- I updated my blogroll a bit. Deleted a ton of stuff. Added Trinity's Blog and Wonkette and Blog Blog (one of Dave Pell's new creations). I'll be adjusting it a bit more in the next few days.

-- Speaking of Wonkette, these posts on the NFL's situation with "Gay" are funny as hell. The full story behind this silly controversy is here. And the full list of NFL no-nos are here.

And my updated list of favorites (stolen from my sports blog and censored because Melia's daughter might read this blog):

ASSBLASTER
AXING THE WEASEL
BACK DOOR MAN
BEAT YOUR MEAT
BUMBLE FUCK
CLAM DIGGER
COCK COWBOY
CROTCH MONKEY
CUMBUBBLE
FANNY FUCKER
FLOGGIN THE DOLPHIN
HEAD LIGHTS
KUMQUAT
LUCKY CAMEL TOE
MATTRESS PRINCESS
POON TANG
SLANT EYE
SNATCH PATCH
WHISKEY DICK

That's still fun to type.

-- If I had to rate subs on a scale, Quizno's still barely outdoes Firehouse with Publix coming in a strong third. Firehouse definitely makes a better meatball sub but Quizno's has them beat everywhere else.

-- I'm still pitching my idea for a TV show to combine "Pimp My Ride" with the people from "Extreme Makeovers ...a.k.a... Pimp My House" and put them in a trailer park. What would be funnier than Mad Mike installing 150 7'' flip down monitors on some redneck's wall.

-- I'm reading Mudge's list of 21 people he'd love to see tortured and I still wonder how Dick Chaney just ends up at #7. Can anyone think of six people more deserving than Dick Chaney? I didn't think so. (BTW CS, that's a sweet photo of Charlize..NSFW)

-- Not sure what to do today...I have nice Braves-Dodgers seats at Disney or I'm going to treat myself to Be Cool. Decisions decisions. Oh well, I hope it rains more tomorrow so I don't have to bother with the game, especially since Bee-Ranom won't go and heckle the Braves with me.

That's enough for the night. So remember....If I can change, and you can change...EVERYONE CAN CHANGE!!!

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Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Why I Love the Internet...

Current Music: A Tribe Called Quest (Filling 40G MP3 Player > XM Radio)

Pretty listless Monday. I woke up early, actually jogged and slept for the rest of the day. Good thing I didn't have plans or any other goals to achieve.

I've actually got a fairly ambitious project that I must complete in the next 90 days, maybe I'll share it in the next few weeks, maybe I won't. I'm undecided at this point because I like to keep my projects close to the vest.

On to the Title...As I was gathering myself from my afternoon nap my friend Dave I'M'ed me and asked if I was there. Of course I was and I expected him to be ready for another college football beating on XBox Live. Instead he invited me to join a chat room and to my surprise there was our mutual friend Rob.

Rob is in Iraq serving with the Air Force. The three of us chatted for an hour, we didn't ask too many questions about Iraq other than how much he was making (almost $2,300/month), how long the flight was (the shortest 19 hours of his life) and the rules on women (no sex, but they really don't check either...Just be smart and private).

Anyway it was the three of us telling stories, cracking jokes and catching up, a great time and after an hour it was over. Since Rob has 10 months left in Baghdad, I hope these chats with his friends in the states make the days go by a little quicker.

The internet is great, thanks Al Gore :)

Hey I voted for him....

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