The Cynic
A cynical spin on the news.
Friday, June 10, 2005

Weekender

I didn't do a weekender last week because I figured Cameron's issues were enough to occupy you. BTW I haven't spoken to Cam all week so I don't have a clue about how things turned out. My guess is that they compromised or broke up. I'm not really sure what Ashley's angle is this time, she's always trying to add on to his stress level that's been caused by law school.

Anyway, on to some weekend stuff.

-- Mr. and Mrs. Smith was released today and I caught it this afternoon. Note to Jennifer Aniston...don't see this movie...and get a boyfriend...fast...And it needs to be someone that will piss Brad off, I suggest Matt Damon...or Mike Tyson...Yeah definitely Iron Mike because Brad will know that a) his wife is getting screwed by Mike Tyson and b) he can't do a thing about it because Mike will kill him...

Speaking of which, men, is there a worst feeling in the world than knowing that Mike Tyson is banging your woman? Can't be. It just isn't possible.

-- My boy Maese has this blog list going. He's listing the top 10 group of each race. He put Jesus as the #6 white and black guy of all time. I'm sure the exhaulted one is thrilled. I'll add it to my blogroll soon since Stephanie has made it so easy for me. [link]

-- Lifehacker has more cool stuff. Today its how to be a millionaire. I believe most of the premise is bullshit, but it's a good read and I'll be inspired to work on my publishing stuff at some point this weekend. And if nothing else I'll downl....err buy a few of those audio books and put them on my iPod. As for giving up Halo? No chance buddy. [Lifehacker]

-- Triumph the Insult Comic Dog was on Conan last night. He was mocking the people holding vigils at the Jacko trial. His best line: "On a scale of 1 to 10, how old is Michael's boyfriend?". It wasn't as funny as him ripping the Star Wars nerds, but it was pretty damn close. You can catch a replay tonight on CNBC at 7 p.m. EST (and once its over, quickly turn away from CNBC).

-- Speaking of CNBC and other politically related things, John Bolton still isn't a U.N. ambassador. Maybe God really does like the Democrats or at least he figures no one deserves to be represented by a guy that looks like John Bolton. [AP]

-- RNC groupie Ken Mehlman is upset that DNC screaming banshee Howard Dean called the Republicans a party of "White Christians". Apparently being called a White Christian is now an insult. I'm sure Jesus is angry and way to sway that Jesus vote farther to the right Howie. Nonetheless I suggest we call them Faith-based practitioners of fair skin instead. [AP]

-- Tropical Storm Arlene is headed to town. This is disappointing considering I went through three hurricanes in six weeks last year. However it should bring a lot of rain and a lot of rain means floods and while floods won't destroy lives like Hurricanes do it should at least make driving fun. [National Hurricane Center]

-- And finally, reason# 2838194 why cats suck. They burn down your house. [Reuters]

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Thursday, June 09, 2005

When Discipline Goes too Far...

Now I can understand accidentally leaving one kid in the trunk, but three?

And my favorite line in the police report: "There was nothing in the passenger compartment to prohibit the children from riding in the passenger seats." ?? So if she had just bought a TV from Best Buy then the whole process would've been understandable.

It's a fucked up world man.


"What about the three children you have in the trunk of the car?" [The Smoking Gun]

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Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Sports Office Chatter...

Location: The Newsroom.
Topic: Brad Pitt's Love Triangle..

Corey (while watching a clip of Angelina Jolie): I tell you, Jolie can put every woman to shame any day she feels like it.

Ted: Sometimes she can be freakish, but when she wants to dress up she can be breathtaking. Not sure what she sees in Brad Pitt though.

Corey: Hell it's got to be step up from Billy Bob. I like him as an actor, but the guy always looks like he's recovered from a 36-hour Marlboro binge.

Slick: Man Halle Berry saw something in Billy Bob she liked.

Corey: Yeah, what the fuck man? Maybe Billy Bob needs to write a book on how to be ugly as fuck and still bag women. Hell I'd buy it tomorrow. I never knew the "I haven't shaved in 11 days" look was so appealing.

(Slick laughs)

Ted: You know men understand why Pitt dumped Jennifer Aniston for Jolie but it seems to make women mad. Why is that?

Corey: Because Jolie is the one they all love to hate.

Slick: Why would any wife let their husband spend two months filming anything with that woman? I guarantee they were hitting the sheets less than a week into filming. Even Brad knows he only lives once.

Corey: Exactly and trust me if I'm Brad Pitt, I'm running a train through Hollywood. Jolie, Jessica Alba, Halle Berry, Scarlett Johansson...We all live once but only a chosen few get to bang any woman they want on the face of the earth.

Ted: A few.

Corey: Yeah a few.

Ted: Brad Pitt and who else?

Slick: Apparently Billy Bob Thornton.

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Tag I'm It

I'll take Mudge's non-invite invite for another popular meme, but I'll only answer what I want :).

Three names you go by: Corey, Big C, C-Lo

Three screen names you’ve had: nafselon, Mr. Met, GoJets

Three physical things you like about yourself: My hands, my very clean feet, my angry eyes.

Three physical things you don’t like about yourself: My hair, the lack of strength on the right side of body (I'm very left side dominated), my smile (or lack thereof)

Three parts of your heritage: African, Dominican, Haitian

Three things you are wearing right now: black sleeveless t-shirt, blue sweat pants, white tube socks.

Three favorite bands: A Tribe Called Quest, Alice in Chains, Kool & The Gang

Three favorite songs: "What's Going On" (Marvin Gaye), "The Next Episode" (Dr. Dre), Rappers' Delight (16-minute version, Sugar Hill Gang).

Three things you want in a relationship: Maturity, a sense of humor, a certain level of independence.

Three things about the preferred sex that appeal to you: A good-looking woman's scent, a nice pair of legs, an inviting smile.

Three of your favorite hobbies: Golf, Gambling, Gadgets

Three things you want to do really badly right now: Jog, Eat, Sleep

Three things that scare you: Death, Audits, My Future

Three of your everyday essentials: Eating breakfast, reading the newspaper, talking to mom.

Three careers you have considered/are considering: Politics, Public Relations, Urban Planning

Three places you want to go on vacation: Dominican Republic, Australia, Spain

Three kids’ names you like: Corey, Donovan, Mitchell (m); Corrine, Taryn, Sierrah (f)

Three ways you are stereotypically a boy: I like politics, I pretend to listen well, I love sports.

Three ways you are stereotypically a girl: I'm pretty clean, I'm concerned with smelling good, I'm consistently behind schedule.

Three celebrity crushes: Jessica Alba, Angelina Jolie, Halle Berry

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