The Cynic
A cynical spin on the news.
Friday, June 02, 2006

Olbermann Goes for the Gold...

...Since I doubt no one will report this since no one really watches Olbermann, I had to put this video on in replacement of one of my crappy 80s video.

Usually when Olbermann pokes fun at what a joke Bill O'Reilly is he's pretty snarky and funny. Last night he was dead serious and it was deserved. Since the media that I hold so close to my heart would rather jump on Dan Rather than O'Reilly, I figured I'd bring a little balance to table.

Mudge, you are welcome to use this...As a matter of fact, consider it a chain letter. The more the merrier.


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Wednesday, May 31, 2006

The Spelling Bee

Only 10 hours before the Scripps-Howard Spelling Bee hits primetime tonight on ABC and I'm pysched! I love the Spelling Bee, these kids are true gamers as they spell such challenging words as chiaroscurist and vivisepulture.

Now I know you are saying to yourself, "Why does Corey love the spelling bee?" and it's true I am an avid watcher of all things sports, cars and violence. However the spelling bee tugs at my heart. Watching these megabrains fight it out for that trophy and huge scholarship is assurance to me that competition on any level of academics is still alive.

Besides the spelling bee offers up great human drama and much like ABC's Wide World of Sports there is the thrill of victory:



and of course the agony of defeat:



(Watch his eyes go BOOM!)

So take a break from the Laguna Beach marathon of the latest Real World challenge and root for these kids as they struggle with esquamulose and remember the correct latin verbiage of prospicience.

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Bad 80s Videos (Eurotrash Edition)

I'd describe this video, but frankly I don't have to.

In response to A Flock of Seagulls, I found a video more new aged and a million times worse, I give to you Finland's answer to Captain and Tennile....ARMI & DANNY with their "hit", "I Wanna Love You Tender!!!!"


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Tuesday, May 30, 2006

80's Video War: Corey Drops the Hammer...

I hate when people mistake my kindness for weakness.

Pulling out a Pat Benatar video is no exception Mudge. As Triumph would say, that is a great video...FOR ME TO POOP ON!

However I expected this to eventually happen and I had three videos that I felt were appropriate comebacks for "Love Is a Battlefield". However I decided to pull out a fourth video, the worst video on earth, to let each of you know not to mess with me. Don't mess with Queens, don't mess with Rochdale Village. Don't mess with the 11434 because it's real down here.

My video submission is....."HEARTBEAT" By Don Johnson with a cameo from Dweezil Zappa! Step to that my friend. Step back, don't get hurt. This 80's video war can only get worse. Just submit Chris...just submit. The kids don't need to see this.


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Sunday, May 28, 2006

Memorial Day Meme

And back to bad music videos tomorrow!

1. Are you in a relationship? No

2. Do you hate more than 3 people? Hmmm, define hate.

3. How many houses have you lived in? two houses, 1 co-op (a northeastern term for condo), 1 condo, five apartments.

4. What is your favorite candy bar? Snickers Cruncher

5. What are your favorite shoes? My black loafers.

6. Have you ever tripped someone? Yes, I used to be quite the prankster.

7. What was your least favorite subject this year? Ummm math :)

9. Do you own a Britney Spears CD? I was given the "Hit me Baby" CD by a radio station at the club I worked at back in 1999 but I lost it a few years later.

10. Have you ever thrown up in public? No.

11. Name something that's always on your mind? The magazine.

12. What is your favorite music genre? Hip-Hop, Hard Rock, Older pop music.

13. What is your sign? Scorpio

15. Do you like beer? Not particularly, more into cider and hard liquor.

16. Have you ever made a prank call? Oh yeah.

17. What is the most embarrassing CD you own? Currently? Not really embarassed with any of them. I have owned some doozies like Shaq's first CD, Ace of Base, etc., etc.

18. HI? Not really into drugs, but thanks.

19. What is your favorite color? Green

20. How many watches do you own? Three

21. Winter or Summer? Winters in Florida

22. Spring or fall? Those seasons don't really exist here.

23. What is your favorite color to wear? Is Denim a color?

24. Pepsi or Sprite? Iced Tea, preferably sweet.

25. What color is your cell phone? Gray

26. Where is your second home? Las Vegas

27. Have you ever slapped someone? No, someone would get stabbed.

28. Have you ever had a cavity? My teeth are well taken care of.

29. How many lamps are in your bedroom? Two

30. How many video games do you own? Hmmm...Systems? I own five, but four of them are decisively old school..

31. What was your first pet? My cocker spaniel Duffy.

32. Have you ever had braces? No

33. Do looks matter? Yes.

34. Do you use Chapstick? No.

36. American Eagle or Abercrombie? Men's Warehouse.

37. Are you too forgiving? Not particularly. I hold grudges.

38. How many children do you want? One

39. Do you own something from Hot Topic? No clue what that is.

40. What is your favorite breakfast? Oatmeal

41. Do you own a gun? Yes and yes I have a license...and yes I will shoot you and no I won't regret it.

42. Have you ever thought you were in love? That sort of thought process is conceding defeat.

43. When was the last time you cried? March 24th, I was reading a letter send to me by a former co-worker right after I left the paper and it brought tears. My mom called me a waterhead. I love mom.

44. What did you do 2 nights ago? Actually ran 4K Friday evening.

45. When was the last time you went to Olive Garden? December or early January of 2002 on a date with Stacy. I'm not big on the Olive Garden but it was a great date.

46. Have you ever called your teacher mom? No....my mom cursed out a couple of them with me laughing hysterically in the background. I tended to be quite the braggart.

47. Have you ever been in a castle? I go home to one daily.

48. What are your nicknames? Big C, Coco.

49. Do you know anyone named Bertha? No.

50. Have you ever been to Kentucky? Yes, on three occasions.

51. Do you own something from Banana Republic? Absolutely not.

52. Are you thinking about somebody right now? The magazine.

53. Have you ever called someone Boo? Yes and it was NFL football player Boo Williams.

54. Do you smoke? Possibly a cigar once every leap year.

55. Do you own a diamond ring? No.

56. Are you happy with your life right now? Yes

57. Do you dye your hair? I have before to stop a patch of grey.

58. Does anyone like you? Lots of people.

59. Who's your best friend? Hard to say, I have four very close ones who all fit the role. I'm generally closest to John because his dad is dying and he needs me the most.

60. What were you doing May of 1994? Preparing for graduation.

61. Do you own a Backstreet Boys CD? Like I'd admit to that one.

62. McDonald's or Wendy's? Wendy's

63. Do you like yourself? I am admittedly my biggest fan.

64. Are you closer to your mother or father? Truly I am closer to both each day.

65. Favorite feature of the opposite sex? Smile.

66. Are you afraid of the dark? I sleep with every television on the house. I don't like the pitch black.

67. Have you ever eaten paste? Nah.

68. Do you have a webcam? No.

69. Have you ever stripped? No.

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