The Cynic
A cynical spin on the news.
Friday, September 09, 2005

Me in a Nutshell...

Since Mudge and others wanted an update (Happy Birthday Cam!)

Sleep: Not going too well. The mask is incredibly uncomfortable and difficult to trust because there are tubes and shit in my mouth, etc. I mean the one time I sucked it up and used it I did ok, but it's hard. I'm thinking more and more about throat surgery instead.

Job: I still have one and the other opportunity got ripped away from me because the editor decided not to leave. The good news is I'm still going to get an interview. It's with ESPN the Magazine and the job is in New York City. I'd say the chances are less than 50/50 so maybe I'll get a nice lunch out of the deal.

Class Reunion: I went. I had a pretty good time. The Diamond Girl (my date) had a real good time too. It's cool to get drunk with old classmates again. Like one guy said "there's more alcohol here tonight than there was at our prom," and someone else said "no there isn't"....Yes there was a lot of alcohol at our prom and many people were visibly drunk. Luckily the adminstration as I remembered could care less.

Fantasy Draft: I dunno, I probably picked Reggie Wayne a round too early but I didn't have a top-flight receiver and they were going quickly. It was going so bad I forgot to get a New York Jet on the team until Round 14 when I selected Mike Nugent, their kicker.

Football: Ok, I was SO close to getting DirecTV for the NFL package to the point of when they called with their offer I started crying on the phone. I mean really I was bawling. The fact that they have a "red zone" channel this year which switches to whatever game when a team is inside the 20, an eight-games at the same time channel AND a channel that edits each game down to 30 minutes. What are they going to have next game? A bookie channel that will take my bets. My co-worker Dick recently bought it and he's on cloud nine. He's like "I know my wife will never have sex with me again, but did you see the "red zone" channel!!". I just look at him and think..."you lucky bastard..."

Katrina: I decided to give a portion of my check for the rest of the year. Isn't much but it'll get a few cans of tuna I suppose. And by the way if you aren't depressed about this, you really should be. It's embarassing to watch people from the "greatest superpower" die on our own soil because our government was lazy in its response. Other natural disasters like to tsunami, those happen in third world countries where they didn't have the resources and even so they TRIED. In America we had the resources and the money but no one wanted to give up their vacations to clear some aid.

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Next Job: Head of the CIA....


Despite the president's belief not just anyone can lift America through a natural disaster [AP Wire]...

Especially if they couldn't keep their original job as head of a Arabian horse federation or something.

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I take the news
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