The Cynic
A cynical spin on the news.
Friday, February 04, 2005

State of My Union...

Doing this one Larry King-style.

Not really sure where to start. This week has been tough, my desk overplays the hell out of National Signing Day and we had the Super Bowl on top of that.

Things were so bad that I canceled my date tonight, partly because I didn't want to drive to Orlando and partly because I didn't really wake up until about 4:30. I think we'll do it next week, but she's dating someone else too, so it's like a competition. I not only have to be a good date, but I have to be a better date than the other guy.

I don't want to admit it but I'm enjoy A&E programming. I love Dog The Bounty Hunter and Ceasar's 24/7. I feel guilty admitting that as someone who openly criticizes friends who watch shitty TV I enjoy a show called "Dog the Bounty Hunter", but I do. And it's very intelligent in the way that they look for these criminals and find them in the spot where they are the most vulnerable to being arrested. I would mention how much I dislike Growing up Gotti but I don't want a bullet in the kidney.

I didn't watch the real State of the Union. Why bother? I didn't vote for Bush, I wouldn't vote for Bush if he were running against Satan. Not sure that I'd vote for Satan either, hell I'm not sure if there's a difference. At least it looks like Dean is going to become the new party leader. Good, finally someone with a pair. If he doesn't work out, how about ending suspense and just giving the job to Bill Clinton. He actually knows how to influence people. If not Clinton try Alec Baldwin.

The topic on one message board this week: Who's the best conversative radio show host? That's like asking "What's the best way to receive prison rape?". My answer is G. Gordon Liddy, at least he's real and given his low ratings I think most of his listeners actually have their own functional brains. I stopped listening to Air America Radio. I listened for two months straight until I realized that bad radio is bad radio whether I like the message or not. Back to Jim Rome for me.

Random CD reccomendation is John Legend, it's pretty damn good. I'm listening to him, the new Jurassic 5 CD and the Alchemist right now.

Last three DVD purchases were: Ray (****), Friday Night Lights (****) and Anchorman (**1/2). Which is a pretty damn good 3.5 for the three combined. Anchorman was a 3-star but it has very low re-watchable value. It is what it is and its very funny on the first couple of viewings.

Jamie left my job on Friday. I miss her. I looked forward to seeing her when I came in every day, now I look forward to reading the nasty emails I receive from people who read my columns. I wish Jamie would come back, hell I'd pay her for the difference in salary. Good entertainment is tough to find. My boss is happy she's gone because he thought she was distracting me from doing more with my day, in actuality the job is distracting from doing more with my day.

I don't think the Patriots are going to win. That means nothing but I don't think they will, even if they do it isn't going to be a blowout. Hell they one their first two Super Bowls will last-second field goals. They aren't a blowout team. And I hope Freddie Mitchell has a good game. I know Freddie, he's a good guy and people have taken nasty cheap shots at him this week. I bet none of those guys have even bothered to meet him. I hope Freddie wins, catches 10 passes and tells all of them to kiss his ass.

Hell forget the ten passes, just tell them to kiss your ass.

This address is over. Peace be with you.

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Sunday, January 30, 2005

See Arnold Run

Ok, time for some of you to fess up. I KNOW I'm not the only one that's gonna be watching this potential car wreck complete with horrible Austrian accents.

I won't watch it until about 2 a.m. because I'm working but I don't care about spoilers because I already know the story (he's born to a Nazi dad, takes roids, smokes weed, sleeps with skanks, does bad movies, marries a Kennedy, becomes Governor of California...), so I'll leave comments open for any who checks it out.

And I'll have my own opinions later.


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