The Cynic
A cynical spin on the news.
Friday, January 19, 2007

Enter The Caption Time!



"Damn George, I know these Iraqi Study Group briefings are boring but can you try to stay awake!"

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Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Is America Ready?



He'll have to deal with questions about why his first name sounds too much like 'Osama' and why his middle name is 'Hussein', but when it comes down to it, he could be the man to bring this nation's leadership back from the grips of stupidity and carelessness that it currently sits in.

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Sunday, January 14, 2007

Random Weekend Goodies -- International Pop Stars Edition

With nothing really exciting to talk about I just wanted to get some things off my chest after losing a good chunk of spare change in low-stakes Hold 'Em. I'm convinced there's no worst hand to go all-in on than pocket 10s:

Moving on.

-- I still believe Super Tecmo Bowl to be the most addicting sports game in history. It used to be the absolute best, but future video game technology has really exposed the lack of control and rules in the old NES classic. That being said, how awesome would STB be in Nintendo would've made it compatible with 4-way play? I mean say you're a single man in his 20s and/or 30s and not feeling like dealing with the bar scene on a weekend night...If you're friend calls you and says "We're playing 4-way Super Tecmo Bowl" you'd be over there in like negative 9 minutes. Seriously, I'd be over there nine minutes before he made the call. Super Tecmo Bowl, a few cold ones and a full iPod hooked up to the house's speakers. That's a man's Saturday night my friend.

-- I'm not sure what's going to get me through the football off-season until the opening day of MLB. I'm patiently awaiting the next Real World/Road Rules challenge to help me through February and March.

-- I'll never forget when my friend Stephanie told me that Kylie Minogue had breast cancer and my all-too-quick reply was "thank god she doesn't have ass cancer". That wasn't the most sensitive thing to say and I'm glad she's recovered. Still if she had ass cancer I'd be highly depressed.

-- Also Kylie is the star of the greatest commercial ever at anything. This is only suitable for work if you work at home.

-- I really don't know what to think about this whole Missouri abduction thing. It's strange. The kid has been there for 4.5 years to the point of where they really weren't hiding? What if he was happy there? What if he and his kidnapper played "Gears of War" for hours at a time on XBox Live and were living the teenage dream? There's got to be more to this story.

-- My best XMas gift to myself -- Finding "Enter the Dragon" at Best Buy for $4.99.

-- I've always been interested in the following of world football star David Beckham and now that he's coming to the states I can see what kind of effect he has on people close up. On the surface he appears to be some blonde footballer that chicks love with a sorta-hot wife, but I'm a journalist and my natural instinct tells me there's something more. Does he possess some sort of special Spidey sense? Who knows. One thing I do know is that he and his wife, Posh Spice Beckham, are practicing Kabbalahs which gives the Hollywood Kabbalah sect another ally against the Hollywood Scientologists. To me this Kabbalah v. Scientology battle is going to be as big as the Shit'es vs. Sunnis by the time we reach the 28th century. You watch. Personally I thought Beckham would be perfect for the New York MLS team because one of his sons is named "Brooklyn".

Speaking of the Spice Girls I was always partial to Geri Halliwell. Not sure it if's because of my general affection of redheads or because she was the least talented, meaning she had the best chance to make money. The latter had been proven to be true.




And the fact that at least four of the five had great success with their solo careers in the UK proves one thing -- Europeans continue to have shitty taste in music.

-- Otherwise I might have good news this week. I also might not have good news. If you don't see any good news from me assume the latter. Enjoy your Sunday!

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