The Cynic
A cynical spin on the news.
Thursday, March 25, 2004

"Passion" Claims Another One..

BELO HORIZONTE, Brazil -- A Brazilian pastor died of an apparent heart attack while watching the Mel Gibson film "The Passion of the Christ," witnesses say.

Jose Geraldo Soares, a 43-year-old Presbyterian pastor, had reserved two movie theaters at a Belo Horizonte shopping mall on Sunday afternoon to see the film with his family and the congregations of two local churches.

But halfway through the movie, Soares' wife noticed that he was no longer awake. A doctor who was also watching the film tended to Soares, but the priest was already dead.

The film, which was praised by Catholic leaders in Brazil as a faithful depiction of events in the Bible, has been criticized by many for its violent and bloody portrayal of Christ's final hours along with the deaths of people watching the flick.





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Judge Exercises His Prerogative on Bobby Brown

Proof positive that some things never change, a judge tossed occasional R&B singer Bobby Brown in the slammer for 90 days or until he pays $63,000 to the mother of his two children to cover back child support pay.

Brown, the husband of pop superstar Whitney Houston, was handcuffed and led out of the Norfolk County family court after Judge Paula Carey told him that he made no attempts, no efforts to pay one single dime of the money owed to Kim Ward, the mother of his two children.

"I am concerned that if I allow you to leave this court, I'll never see you again,'' the judge told Brown, who sighed deeply and wiped tears from his eyes throughout the hour-long hearing. "I'm also concerned that you'll make another album in a haste to pay this money, but I can't let the fears of a re-release of 'Humpin' Around' sway my decision."

But Ward's attorney, Linda Medonis, pointed out that yesterday's hearing was the eighth time Ward had gone to court seeking overdue child support payments and that four of the eight times, Brown was a no-show.

"She's a very caring and gracious lady who just cares about her kids,'' Medonis said. ``She's not malicious or vengeful. This was a very difficult day for her. No one wants to see him come out with another CD. He's so 1991.''



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Florida Teacher Decides its Wabbit Season..

PLANT CITY, Fla. -- A veteran Plant City High School agricultural science teacher faces fines and criticism after killing two day-old rabbits with a shovel as her stunned class looked on, authorities said Tuesday.

Investigators said Jane Bender killed two rabbits and buried them in a field near the agricultural lab with two others from the same litter that had died. The rabbits were rejected by the mother and were not going to live according to the teacher.

One student told investigators Bender asked the class to help her bury the rabbits, but they refused, Hillsborough County Sherrif Lt. Rod Reder said.

"Had she asked us to go cow tipping, well now that's another story," the unnamed student added.




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Simon Gives Performance the Finger?

American Idol judge and harsh critic Simon Cowell is under fire by the FCC after a normal body posture showed him with a middle finger lifted.

This posture, revealed to the world in a picture by internet basset hound Matt Drudge, also caught the attention of the FCC saying they received a few (read as no) complaints but didn't think much of it.

In any case, Cowell demonstrated once again that he was hardly at a loss for words to express himself, calling the performance of one contestant "nauseating."

Oh I wonder what he thinks of Drudge.

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Wednesday, March 24, 2004

Gays Try Swinging....Votes..

President Bush needs to make good with us. That's the message from many of the millions of gay Republicans that voted for Bush in 2000.

Many in the Gay Republican community feel jilted as President Bush has continued to make a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage a major part of his reelection campaign. Former straight Republican is footing $100,000 for a Log Cabin Republican ad campaign. Huffington who has admitted voting for every Republican since Nixon is unsure of where his loyalties will lie in 2004. However he's placing the blame directly on Bush's home slick Karl Rove.

``I don't believe in my heart that George Bush and Laura Bush are in favor of it, but I do believe they've been given some bad political advice by Karl Rove, who I've known since he and I worked on the former president's campaign in 1980,'' Huffington said, referring to Bush's chief political adviser. ``Karl is a political animal and he thinks he can win votes on this, and that's the only reason it's being done.''

Hoping for a compromise a White House spokesperson has suggested that gay designer Thom Filicia coordinate the remodeling of the Lincoln Bedroom.

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