The Cynic
A cynical spin on the news.
Thursday, June 03, 2004

ESPN and Insomnia

After a whopping four hours of sleep I've been watching ESPN since this morning. Watching this much ESPN worries me, I'm really trying to not to consume my life with sports being that it's my job and all but sometimes I can't help it.

So basically I saw Jennifer Capriati get absolutely routined by some Russian chick in the French Open semifinals. Just as well, I can't stand Capriati, she'll never be half as good as she thought she could be.

However, it got exciting after that because they showed clips of the 2003 Spelling Bee. Oh hell yeah! I love the friggin Spelling Bee. I love the great "stall tactic" and the patience shown by the judges. Example.

Judge: The word is Cowlstaff

Kid: Cowlstaff

Judge: Cowl-staff

Kid: Cowl-stiff?

Judge: Cow-l-st-a-ff

Kid: Cool-staff?

Judge (irritated): CO-W-L-S-T-A-FF

Kid: Definition?

Judge: A staff or pole on which a vessel is supported between two persons. --Suckling.

Kid: Cowstalf?

Judge: COWLSTAFF

Kid: Cowlstiff?

Judge: We've prounced it correctly nine times, please spell the word.

Kid: Is it a root of cowl -- the hood of a hooded robe?

Judge: Yes

Kid: Cowlstaff

Judge: Yes

Kid: C-O-W-L-S-T-A-F-F

*applause*

Over and over again. I might TiVo the 2004 tournament since I have to go to the car dealer, however, I don't feel right TiVo'ing a spelling bee. I mean TiVo'ing The Restaurant is one thing, but TiVo'ing a spelling bee. Yikes.

However the Bee has met its match. The Mathcounts tournament. The Mathematics version of the Spelling Bee. These kids a.k.a Mathletes (yeah..I know) are absolute freaks, I could never crunch numbers like this. Example

Judge: If 200 to the 10 squared + 2 = n + 10 + the equat...

*ding*

Kid: 4.15!

Judge: Correct!

I think I'm developing an eye twitch.

I need to shower and I need breakfast, it's 12:30.

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About Us

I take the news
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Previously...

Hey Bill, will you check out the ass on that one. ...

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This or That

Spoiling the Fun? Nah

Interesting...

Four More Years!

Are We There Yet.

Hmmm Another Night in Paris?

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