The Cynic
A cynical spin on the news.
Sunday, February 15, 2004

No. 41 Caught by Army, Still Can't Beat Marines' Aces Over Jacks

BAGHDAD, Iraq -- Muhammad Zimam Abd al-Razzaq al Sadun, No. 41 on the U.S.-led coalition's list of most wanted Iraqis, was captured Sunday in a Baghdad suburb, Iraqi and coalition officials said.

Al-Razzaq -- four of spades in the Pentagon's "Most Wanted Iraqis" deck of playing cards -- was being held in an undisclosed location, according to a statement from the U.S.-led coalition occupying Iraq. While the capture is appreciated, the Army was forced to dump the card, saying the Marines' full house of Aces and Jacks is going to be tough to beat.

"We need to get our asses in gear we've only got a pair of sixes and a potential straight draw," an Army spokesperson said. "I don't under why deuces or one-eyed Jacks ain't wild."


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Previously...

Hubble Gets Put on the Backburner...

Kerry Wins Unknown Caucuses

Speaking of Affairs, Where's Bill Clinton These Days?

White House Manufactur....errr....Releases Bush's ...

Kerry Gets Clark's Endorsement; Will Answer Affair...

ABC Picks Up Pilots For "No See TV" Night..

Who the Hell Needs Simon When You've Got Mary Jane?

John Kerry: "I'm Not a Player I Just Crush A Lot"

Secret is Out, Hillary IS a Tough Guy

Comcast and Disney: A Deal to Die For...



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