The Cynic
A cynical spin on the news.
Saturday, February 14, 2004

White House Manufactur....errr....Releases Bush's "military record"

After weeks of harassment, the White House comes clean...sort of. Today they released records of George W. Bush's military service with the Texas Air National Guard (a.k.a. an Army of None).

The documents indicate Bush received pay for six days of duty between May and December of 1972 when he was assigned to temporary duty in Alabama. There is a five-month stretch at the start of 1972 when he was not paid for service. The records do not indicate what duty Bush performed or where he was, however, there's a good chance he was high...errr high on the list of people waiting to go to war, yeah that's it.

The White House has not been able to produce fellow guardsmen who could testify that Bush attended guard meetings and drills. "Obviously we would have made people available" if they had been found, McClellan said. "But we've yet to find people believable enough to lie directly to your faces, so quit bothering us...Okay."

Potential Democratic candidate John Kerry did little to contribute or disfuse this stirring controversy.

"It's not an issue that I chose to create. It's not my record that's at issue and I don't have any questions about it."

Kerry than proceeded to brag about all the awards he won in Vietnam.

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Previously...

Kerry Gets Clark's Endorsement; Will Answer Affair...

ABC Picks Up Pilots For "No See TV" Night..

Who the Hell Needs Simon When You've Got Mary Jane?

John Kerry: "I'm Not a Player I Just Crush A Lot"

Secret is Out, Hillary IS a Tough Guy

Comcast and Disney: A Deal to Die For...

Veronica Atkins Defends Her Fat-Ass Dead Husband

Breast-less Grammys Draw 26 million Disappointed V...

France Send Religious Apparel the way of Soap..

How much for that Nipple Shield in the Window?



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