The Cynic
A cynical spin on the news.
Wednesday, February 11, 2004

Veronica Atkins Defends Her Fat-Ass Dead Husband

Yesterday we reported that diet creator Dr. Robert Atkins was carrying two and a half bills when he died of heart-induced problems.

The medical report showed that as well as his obesity, 6-foot tall Dr. Atkins had a history of heart trouble, congestive heart failure and hypertension.

However the widow of the big-boned doctor denied that his diet, which specializes in eating large amounts of meat and cheese, had anything to do with her husbands death.

“Let me state emphatically that I have been assured by my husband’s physicians that my husband’s health problems late in life were completely unrelated to his diet or any diet."

Of course detractors wonder how double cheeseburgers could be considered a diet.






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Previously...

Breast-less Grammys Draw 26 million Disappointed V...

France Send Religious Apparel the way of Soap..

How much for that Nipple Shield in the Window?

Clark Surrenders; Kerry Gloats

MTV Daytime: Too Toxic for Britney

Regionalize THIS! Kerry Has South Whistling Dixie;...

Democrats Head South...Yes even John Kerry

Proof of Bush's "military record" Released...

Maybe He Should Call the Diet "Dead Like Me"

Secretary Gets Plum over Martha



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