The Cynic
A cynical spin on the news.
Wednesday, February 11, 2004

Clark Surrenders; Kerry Gloats

As reported earlier here, the moment of time has come for Wesley Clark and the four-star general is expected to drop out of the Democratic presidential nomination race today at 2 p.m. in Little Rock, Arkansas. Clark, who was flying high after a victory in Oklahoma last week during Super Tuesday, called both Edwards and Kerry to wish them good luck.

"Heh heh, who's the junior leader of the military now Wes?," a confident Kerry was overheard saying before his victory speech in Fairfax, Virginia. "Two down, four to go."

Since Clark, who also recently received the endorsement of M.C. Hammer, was considered the third best of the Democrats running his decision also effectively ends the campaigns for Howard Dean, Al Sharpton, and Dennis Kucinich.

The biggest loser is going to be the rapper himself, who hoped that the Clark train could help him kickstart his "Hammertime" revue planned for 2005. Hammer said in a statement that he's not sure who he's going to endorse but it damn sure isn't going to be Kucinich.

If Hammer thinks Edwards or Kerry are interested in his bounce, he is sadly mistaken.

"I believe that Senator Edwards is definitely looking towards LudaCris for assistance during his stumps next week in the south," said one notable expert of the Edwards camp. "We want to continue to show that we can motivate the South while Kerry continues to go after northern rappers like Jay-Z and Nas."





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Previously...

MTV Daytime: Too Toxic for Britney

Regionalize THIS! Kerry Has South Whistling Dixie;...

Democrats Head South...Yes even John Kerry

Proof of Bush's "military record" Released...

Maybe He Should Call the Diet "Dead Like Me"

Secretary Gets Plum over Martha

The Queen of Motown hits the Slammer...

Fly American Airlines or Burn in the Fiery Pits of...

White House Promises 2.6M New Jobs...



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