The Cynic
A cynical spin on the news.
Tuesday, February 17, 2004

Gibson Blames Everyone for Christ's Death...

With a week before the release of his new movie "The Passion of The Christ", actor Mel Gibson has decided to blame everyone for the death of Jesus Christ.

"[Jesus] was beaten for our iniquities," said the actor. "He was wounded for our transgressions, and by his wounds we are healed. That's the point of the film."

As for the one question everyone wants him to answer: "Who killed Jesus Christ?"

"The big answer is," Gibson said, "we all did."

Then in a mode only described as Dean-esque Gibson further elaborated his point.

"We all killed him!," the actor shouted before jumping up on a table. "EVERYONE!! The Jews, The Gentiles, The Arabs, The Asians, You did, I did, We all did! And I'm taking this movie to every nation and every world. Through Iowa, Nebraska, Ohio, Wisconsin, Florida, North America, South America, Mars, Jupiter and all the way to CRAWFORD, TEXAS...ARGRGGH!!"

Gibson's also taken a little flack for putting his film in selective theaters, distributing his film predominately in the midwest and "bible belt" avoiding areas that can be considered "upscale, Jewish, liberal or otherwise intelligent."

Gibson later explains that he was just trying to draw the NASCAR vote.

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Previously...

Cingular: "Hey Verizon, Can You Hear Us Now?"

Dean's Chairman Quits; Vows Campaign Will Go On

The Plight of the Whites Live On

No. 41 Caught by Army, Still Can't Beat Marines' A...

Hubble Gets Put on the Backburner...

Kerry Wins Unknown Caucuses

Speaking of Affairs, Where's Bill Clinton These Da...

White House Manufactur....errr....Releases Bush's ...

Kerry Gets Clark's Endorsement; Will Answer Affair...

ABC Picks Up Pilots For "No See TV" Night..



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