The Cynic
A cynical spin on the news.
Sunday, April 01, 2007

As Good As Expected...

...I knew Saturday was going to be a good day. It's a great weekend here in St. Petersburg as the Devil Rays usually play a good team in the spring finale (even better it was my beloved Mets) and one can hear the Indy cars zooming by at the St. Pete Grand Prix.

Downtown St. Pete is incredibly charming on a normal Saturday but with baseball season in full effect things are going to be a lot more entertaining. Yes the Devil Rays suck and I fully expect them to go 28-134, but St. Pete is still a good baseball city and the few fans that support the Rays are extremely devoted.

--New York Met fans, which made up roughly 50% of the nice crowd at Tropicana Field, were in full season form yesterday as noted:

Drunken Lady Heckling Beltran: "That's right Carlos, keep the bat on your shoulder! Don't worry about swinging.

[Beltran takes a walk]

Another Met Fan: Yeah and he worked an 0-2 count into a walk ya stupid bitch!

--I somehow received three lower box seats for this game through the power of Will Call and I did what any good man would do -- I found the two hottest women in eyesight and gave them the extra two tickets (which were a row below the one I kept).

--After the game, a ride home and a quick shower I headed to my friend Dema's house (real name Michael) to watch the Final Four. Now my perfect Saturday ended with Georgetown's loss, but the joy of the evening was not gone.

Among the favorite comments of the evening:

On Expressions

Brooke: Why does [Greg Oden] always look so sad and despondent.

Me: How would you look if you had three teenage boys and you're last attempt at riches is to fake being an 18-year old basketball prodigy when you're really a 34-year-old former NAIA All-American praying to god no one finds your real identity.


On Commercials

Tanno: I fucking hate that Asian guy on those Cingular commercials. He's so fucking smug. I just want to shove that broadband card up his ass and say "How good is that fucking signal?".


On Nationalities

Kevin's Girlfriend (who's name escapes me): [Joakim Noah's dad] looks so funny.

Dema: Noah was born and raised in New York City, his mom's a Swede model

Me: And his dad is black French.

(BTW Black Europeans totally fascinate me. It's like they are as black as I am, but far cooler than being a black American. I mean Samuel L. Jackson is especially cool, but how much cooler would he be with an English accent? I'd trade in my professional and become a plumber just so I could be a Black European. One of my favorite athletic encounters was with Lennox Lewis. He speaks perfect english and his way of humor is so logical but dry and witty. I love black Europeans.)

Tanno: That's right, he's loves fried chicken and losing wars.

(laughter)

Me: Yep Collard Greens and surrendering.

(Ahh making fun of historical wars never gets old).

What made this gathering even better was the fact that Dema is staying off alcohol for 30 days as is our friend Stephen. I didn't have a drink and I'm dieting again. Tanno and Brooke barely had a sip of Crown Royal. It's proof that excessive swearing among friends guarantees a good time regardless of alcoholic consumption.

Part of my dieting will be going vegetarian two days a week until further notice -- Monday and Thursday starting this upcoming Thursday. I would start Monday, but Monday is a major sporting event and that's always a meat night.

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Previously...

Happy Saturday...

Maher On Bush, Plame...

Another Busy Week...

Sunday Silliness

If Only Because..

The Drive for 35...

Guess Who's Back...

A Lesson in Time...

Short Thoughts on the Oscars...

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