The Cynic
A cynical spin on the news.
Monday, April 18, 2005

Weekend Update...

Rather then ignore what's been happening, here's a one-stop catch up...

-- I really have sympathy for this poor sap. And personally ever since falling victim to his gambit, I've wanted to whack Garry Kasparov over the head with a chessboard myself. [Newsday]

"It was a fairly nasty incident, it was not very pleasant psychologically," Kasparov told the private NTV television Saturday.

As if the "Checkmate in 5" is anymore pleasant. Imagine how much that must crush someone's spirit -- in five moves you're completely fucked. Not cool.

Anyway, Kasparov has left the wild and crazy world of chess to go into something much safer, politics.

Apparently he hates Putin and is a liberal and stuff. Guaranteed he's still boring compared to Bobby Fischer. Fischer is a damn fool and he hates EVERYTHING. Needless to say the retired chess master's title is being fought over by a couple of juveniles [NYT]. Hopefully their parents have them interested in something else besides chess. Girls...legos..anything..

-- Last week Prince Charles married Smarty Jones. This week we've found out that she apparently owns one outfit [Times of India]. Cornwall must be thrilled.

-- Staying in the royal family of misfits, it's been confirmed: Prince Harry is an idiot. Okay maybe he's not a total idiot but he did fail a computer assessment test [CNN International]. On second thought, he's an idiot.

Even worse he's so NOT his brother William. Does anyone else see a potential serious sibling rivalry brewing here? This could be worse than the Gallagher brothers in Oasis. I'm convinced Harry is going to join the Sith or something.

-- Student to Justice Scalia: "Do you sodomize your wife?" [Page Six]

-- Kyle Rausch's political career is over all due to a bake sale [MLive]. The aspiring Republican was trying to send a message by selling cupcakes at the price of $2 for white males, 75 cents for blacks and white women, 50 cents for Asians and Hispanics and 5 cents for Native Americans.

Now you know what I'm thinking...75 cents for a damn cupcake! Fucking Republicans are always jacking up the prices.

-- In case you forgot, Ted Nugent is crazy [AP]

"Remember the Alamo! Shoot 'em!" he screamed to applause. "To show you how radical I am, I want carjackers dead. I want rapists dead. I want burglars dead. I want child molesters dead. I want the bad guys dead. No court case. No parole. No early release. I want 'em dead. Get a gun and when they attack you, shoot 'em."

Yes yes, God Bless America! That's a guy who I want to have possession of an assault weapon. Finally Tom DeLay found a group of people that appreciate where he's coming from. No word on whether the delay (no pun intended) before his NRA keynote address was caused because his wife didn't receive her appearance fee.

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About Us

I take the news
and drag the truth out of it.


Previously...

Jenna's iPod...

Breaking News!

The Pres' iPod

The TiVo Files...

Un-Related Ramblings (Part 2)

Un-Related Ramblings (Part 1)

Tom DeLay Needs a Time Out...

Enter The Caption Contest (#5)

Dead or Alive...

The Pain Is Over...



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