The Cynic
A cynical spin on the news.
Thursday, February 26, 2004

Kucinich Finishes Second!!!

In shocking news, the only proud vegan in this years presidential nomination primaries, Congressman Dennis Kucinich finished a strong second in Hawaii, receiving 50% of the vote in Maui and 30% total, collecting delegates for the first time as he creeps up on Al Sharpton.

Kucinich, considered one of the most liberal members of the House, was among a small group of Congress members to strongly oppose the Bush administration's decision to invade Iraq last year. Kucinich stayed on the island for a post-caucus speech where he promised to go on.

"Al...You're next big boy!" he said to great cheers as he focuses on Rev. Al Sharpton. "Everyone said old Dennis was dead, even M.C. Hammer wouldn't endorse me! But Hammer, lemme tell you once thing, you might wear baggy pants and kick funky rhymes but you will play for abandoning my quest!"


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Previously...

Paige Demands Attacks on NEA

Clear Channel Says Bye to Bubba

Nader Announces Fund-Raising Schedule...

The Bush Empire Strikes Back

Nader Runs; Voters Snear...

Depp Shocks All Wins SAG Award For Best Actor

Schwarzenegger: No More Gay Marriages Or Judges Wi...

Gibson's Dad: I hate Jews...

Dean Goes From First to Worst...

Conan O'Brien: I'm Sorry eh?



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