The Cynic
A cynical spin on the news.
Monday, February 23, 2004

Depp Shocks All Wins SAG Award For Best Actor

Former 21 Jump Street "star" Johnny Depp shook up the hype for next weeks Oscars by winning the Screen Actors Guild Award for his role as...someone...in Pirates of the Caribbean. Depp's victory was considered a major upset over favorite Sean Penn.

As for the rest of the awards from the Oscar's preview show. Charlize Theron won for both Best Actress and Nicest Ass; Tim Robbins won for Best Supporting Actor and shocked favorite Alec Baldwin for Best Hollywood Liberal.

Renee Zellwegger wins her second straight SAG award, this time a Best Supporting Actress award for Cold Mountain and also picked up the Person So Nice You'd Forget She Was From Texas award and Best Actress Who Makes an Extra 30 Pounds Look Sexy award.

Finally the good folks at Lord of the Rings won the Best Cast Ensemble Award for the third chapter of their 10-hour trilogy: Lord of the Rings - The Return of The King. This is a crucial award as Chicago won the same award last year and went on to win the Best Picture statuette. LotR also picked up the award from Best Group of Fans Who Scare Casual Moviegoers From Watching the Movie beating out every Kevin Smith production.

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Previously...

Schwarzenegger: No More Gay Marriages Or Judges Wi...

Gibson's Dad: I hate Jews...

Dean Goes From First to Worst...

Conan O'Brien: I'm Sorry eh?

Canada Joins Piracy Fight; Will Prosecute Celine D...

MSNBC Gets New Ownership..

Gibson Blames Everyone for Christ's Death...

Cingular: "Hey Verizon, Can You Hear Us Now?"

Dean's Chairman Quits; Vows Campaign Will Go On

The Plight of the Whites Live On



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