The Cynic
A cynical spin on the news.
Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Playing the percentages...

I said I would've been happy around 50% and on a quick count I hit 46% so I'm pretty good. Anything under 25% and you're a bad bad person :)

*****

Start with 100%, and take away 1% for everything you've done/that's happened to you on this list. Put the number you are left with in the subject line

EXAMPLE... if you did ONE thing you would put 99%

Smoked
Drank alcohol
Cried when someone died
Been drunk
Had sex
Been to a concert
Given a handjob/gotten a handjob
Given a blowjob/gotten a blowjob
Been verbally sexually harassed
Verbally sexually harassed somebody

Felt someone up and/or been felt up
laughed so hard something came out of your nose
Cheated on a boyfriend/girlfriend before
Been cheated on by a boyfriend/girlfriend
Been to promCried at school
Gotten lost in a WalMart or a department store
Went streakingGiven a lap dance
Had someone of the opposite sex in your room
Had someone of the opposite sex sleep over
Slept over at someone of the opposite sex's house

Kissed a stranger
Hugged a stranger
Went scuba diving
Driven a car
Gotten an xray
Hit by a car
Had a party
Done drugs

strip poker
Got paid to strip for someone
Ran away from home
Broken a bone
Eaten sushi
Bought porn
Watched porn
Made porn
Had a crush on someone of the same sex
Been in love

Frenched kissed
Laughed so hard you cried
Cried yourself to sleep
Laughed yourself to sleep
Stabbed yourself
Shot a gun
Trash talked someone and then acted like their best friend the next day
Watched TV for 9 consecutive hours
Been online for 9 consecutive hours

Watched an animal die
Watched a person die
Had sex and/or messed around somewhere with at least 1 person present
Pranked somebody
Put somebody in the hospital
Snuck into someone's room and/or your own room after being out
Kissed somebody of the same sex

Dressed punk
Dressed goth
Dressed preppy
Been to a motocross race
Avoided somebody
Been stalked
Stalked someone
Met a celebrity
Played an instrument

Ridden a horse
Cut yourself
Bungee jumped
Ding dong ditched somebody
Been to a wild party
Got caught stealing something
Kicked a guy in the balls
Stolen a boyfriend/girlfriend from a friend
Went out with your friend's crush

Got arrested
Been pregnant
Babysat
Been to another country
Started your house on fire
Had an encounter with a ghost
Donated your hair to cancer patients
Been asked out by someone that you never thought you'd to be asked out by

Cried over a member of the opposite sex
Had a boyfriend/girlfriend for over 3 months
Sat on your ass all day
Ate a whole carton of ice cream all by yourself
Had a job
Gotten cut from a sports team
Been called a whore
Danced like a whore

Been mistaken for a celebrity
Been in a car accident
Been told you have beautiful eyes
Been told you have beautiful hair
Raped somebody
Danced in the rain
Been rejected
Walked out of a restaurant without paying
Punched someone/slapped someone

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About Us

I take the news
and drag the truth out of it.


Previously...

What...an SNL Skit That Doesn't Suck??

Arnold to Tookie: H'asta La Vista, Baby

2005: A Year for Ideas...

RIP Richard Pryor

It Doesn't Matter If They Black or White...

David Cross Gits R' Done...

Music Lovers...

The Five Good Ones..

Yikes...

If Only It Would Happen to Me...



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