The Cynic
A cynical spin on the news.
Monday, May 03, 2004

Ranking the Worst...

Blender Magazine (a shitty music mag by the makers of the great Maxim magazine) recently listed their opinion of the 50 worst songs of all time.

So I'm going to give my opinion on their opinion starting with 50-41

50. My Heart Will Go On-Celine Dion ... 1998

Yes total suck song from suck artist. Every Celine Dion song sucks, even the ones she hasn't released yet. Personally she's the reason why Canada should never get a free pass for anything.

49. I'm Too Sexy-Right Said Fred ... 1992

Bad song...Sure, but it's not offensively bad, more like annoying and lacking humor after the first couple listens.

48. Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da-The Beatles ... 1968

Never heard it, so after a quick download and listen...Yeah it's the worst Beatles song ever but the worst Beatles song is much better than Celine Dion or Right Said Fred.

47. The Only Thing That Looks Good on Me Is You-Bryan Adams ... 1996

The only thing that looks good on a Bryan Adams CD is fire.

46. Hangin' Tough-New Kids on the Block ... 1989

Okay, making fun of New Kids is like shooting fish in a barrel. However as bad as this song is it pales in comparison to Games, which they did during their "grown up" NKOTB era. Read the lyrics on this song, especially the rap. The "Beantown posse"???!

45. Mesmerize-Ja Rule featuring Ashanti ... 2002

Ahh yes, the great studio gangsta Ja Rule singing a lullaby. Very cute.

44. I'll Do Anything for Love (But I Won't Do That)-Meat Loaf ... 1993

Nah, this is a damn okay song. A little overplayed? Sure, but worst than New Kids on the Block? C'mon Blender.

43. Follow Me-Uncle Kracker ... 2000

The passive aggressive rocker comes in at 43. Again not a terrible song but Uncle Kracker is a talentless hack so I'll let it slide.

42. The Sounds of Silence-Simon & Garfunkel ... 1965

Next time these two druggies promise me silence I want it! Especially if it's the alternative to this song.

41. We Didn't Start the Fire-Billy Joel ... 1989

Bullshit. Probably the coolest pop culture reference tune in recent years. I thought this song was extremely creative and interesting. He's also giving Gen X a free pass :)

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