The Cynic
A cynical spin on the news.
Monday, March 29, 2004

Kerry In Perfect Health (With the exception of shoulder surgery and prostate cancer)

ST. LOUIS — Sen. John Kerry, by most measures an unusually fit 60-year-old, has spent key parts of his presidential campaign battling ailments ranging from prostate cancer to a stubborn cough and cold.

Kerry frequently complains to reporters of a stiff right shoulder or allergies that leave his voice raspy and throat sore. For much of this year, Kerry has curtailed speaking and sipped lemon tea to nurse a voice strained by hacking and yakking. In mid-February, he described the ailment to reporters as a "chest thing" and griped about its persistence.

"Kerry is the most athletic, most vigorous guy in the race," said David Wade, his spokesman. "He bounced back from surgery last year way faster than most, he windsurfs, mountain climbs, skis and snowboards; in great shape — not exactly the kind of guy whose health is a question mark.

"However, he's got that should thing and a leg injury from snowboarding last week. Plus you never know when that pesky prostate is going to flare up again. And he's complained a little about losing his vision but we just think it's a temporary thing. He's as healthy as he's ever been."


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Previously...

Smoking Banned in Irish Pubs, Homicides Expected

"Passion" Claims Another One..

Judge Exercises His Prerogative on Bobby Brown

Florida Teacher Decides its Wabbit Season..

Simon Gives Performance the Finger?

Gays Try Swinging....Votes..

Philly Proves to be Too Real for MTV

Courtney Love: Fucked Up and Proud Of It

Tennessee County Tries to Impose Bad on Gays...

Putin Wins Easily But Faces Questions



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