The Cynic
A cynical spin on the news.
Friday, May 06, 2005

Weekend Open Thread

Everything that my peeps are talking about this week.

Kerry Says "No" to Gay Marriage?!: Odd but apparently true or at least that's what the hometown paper says [Boston Globe].

"I think it's a mistake," Kerry said. "I think it's the wrong thing, and I'm not sure it reflects the broad view of the Democratic Party in our state."

Interesting and of course this opinion doesn't totally surprise me. Kerry still tends to believe the pundits who think that the gay-marriage issue lost the presidency for him. Personally I feel like it was because Bush called him a coward, traitor, flip-flopper, metrosexual, pussy and a dozen other names and Kerry never stood up to say, "Hey fuck you". You also could've had a better stance on Iraq than "I voted for it, then I voted against it".

Meanwhile, the Republican who plays both sides of the coin better than my editor, John McCain thinks Kerry is strictly doing this to kick start his campaign for 2008 [Boston Herald].

"It's pretty obvious, the way he's acting, he'd like to try it again,'' the Arizona Republican said of a 2008 Kerry bid. "I'd advise him to be the best senator he could be and put those ambitions aside for a while.'' McCain said he "absolutely'' wants to be president himself but will focus on the Senate and "wait a couple years'' to decide on a 2008 run.


Sometimes I wish I could advise John McCain to just STFU. Go to a Nationals game or are you a fan of the Diamondbacks this week. Or clean up boxing. Please.

And Kerry needs to not make gay marriage any more of an issue than it is. Even if he comes out against it those people still aren't voting for him.


Bush Celebrates Cinco de Mayo on May 4: Oh come on. The guy can't even pronounce nuclear, I didn't expect him to get this right. I'm shocked he didn't celebrate it in March [CNN].

"I always look forward to Cinco de Mayo especially because it gives me a chance to practice my Spanish," he said. "My only problem this year is I scheduled the dinner on cuatro de Mayo. Next year, I'm going to have to work on my math."

Not a bad idea, maybe then he'll realize why his plan for social security isn't winning public support.


Lunatic Reverend Dumps Non-Republicans: Claims the word of God tells him that if you don't support Bush than get out of his congregation. [News-Observer]

Yeah, I bet Jesus is real proud.


Jacko Trail -- Moms Says They Trust Him: Even with their own kids in his bed. Wow. Not sure where to start with this one.
"I've known Michael for a long time. I've spent many hours talking to him about everything. I feel like he's a member of my family. I trust him. I trust him with my children," said Joy Robson, whose 22-year-old son, Wade, testified earlier that he was never molested by Jackson.


And yes that's the same Wade Robson who was the douche bag choreographer to the boy bands back when those things were popular. She goes ever further.
"My impression of (the mother) is she wanted to be mistress of Neverland," she said. "She would order the staff around like she owned it. My impression of (her) is she was a gold-digger."

Meow. This case gets stranger and stranger by the day. If we thought we knew Michael was fucked up, we had no idea.


NY Post Screws Up Online Registration: And cheers rein down from the gossip community. The Post's bitter rivals the New York Daily News decided to devote a story mocking their cross-town nemesis with the Lowdown [Link].
But shortly before 5 p.m. - after Lowdown phoned Post execs Lachlan Murdoch and Col Allan to inquire about catastrophic glitches in their intrusive registration process - the execs backed down and abruptly removed the requirement.

Thus the vaunted new regime - or just "an opportunity to better serve our readers," as a Post exec had madly spun it last week - was taken out and shot.


But the Post isn't done yet. Saying that this dog wasn't taken out and shot but rather put through obidence school [E&P].

"We anticipated this week's issues as much as possible," she told E&P on behalf of the paper. "We have 2.8 million unique users and some 90 million page views a month, many of whom tried to register on that first day. Despite initial glitches, which we addressed and resolved with additional resources, the registration process continues, as do our users' visits to the Web site.

Nice to see that 15 years after I left NYC, those Post-Daily News wars continue as strong as ever.


Casino Pays 5G from Britney's Urine: This is crazy. Apparently a Canadian radio station got a hold of Britney's urine dipstick for her pregnancy test and sold it to Golden Palace online casino for $5,001. [Celebrity Justice]

The casino confirms it.

"As an online casino, we can't advertise on television. The FCC has regulations against that," [Palace spokesman Monty] Kerr said. "So what we have to do is we
have to make news."


I wonder if Britney is going to ask for a cut of the proceeds. Diapers are expensive these days.

Have a good weekend kids and keep and eye on my neighbor [Link].


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About Us

I take the news
and drag the truth out of it.


Previously...

Chappelle...

Unforgettable Moment

Afternoon Delight...

Newspapers = Dying Art

Man or Mouse?

Florida Law Gets Tough...

Kentucky Town Pissed at A&E

Weekend Open Thread

Weekend Delay

Retirement...



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