The Cynic

It's Been a While...

2010-05-04T03:41:00.002-05:00

...I know when it's time to blog here again because I'm usually reading a ton of my old blog posts. I really would like to come back to this thing full time but I can't commit to anything right now.

I got a lot on my mind. That's really nothing new as I have always embraced the clutter in my head. I feel quite happy with a lot on my mind. It keeps me from feeling a sense of worthlessness or a lack of accomplishment. If I have nothing on my mind, what purpose do I serve?

I've probably been working legally for about 17 years and 15 of those years I've made my money in the journalism industry. Mostly newspapers and then to more specialized publication and now through wires and online media as an "independent contractor". But over the next seven days it will be judgment time in my career. Maybe things will break right and I'll continue to do what I love with some financial stability or it's time to move on. It's a difficult move because I've always tried to be loyal to the business even when the business (or maybe the people behind the business) proved itself (or themselves) to be a fraud to the people that fought so hard to protect it.

The jobs, while similar in description, couldn't be much different. One company wants to see how far I am willing to go to work for them. Will I pay my own travel for an interview? Will I do it quickly so I miss the two-week "cheaper" flight window? Will I spend a year working for a subsidiary without the good company benefits? The other company is probably considered to be at least part of the industry standard but they move at a speed that is generously described as slow. So at this point I leave it to fate. Either I'm still going to be here or I won't. Nothing more or less. If it doesn't work I'll move on. I can move on. Five years ago I wouldn't have been able to, now I could do it without blinking. It's time for bed

The Old Community

2009-02-16T17:45:00.004-05:00

Back in like 2005, 2006, 2007, I was part of this small, but tight little blog community and it was pretty dope. It was like having a dinner conversation party 3-4 times a week. We would talk about a wide assortment of stuff like politics, dating, baseball, music, anything pop culture really. And we all brought something different and exciting to the table.

As expected many of them have moved on over time. Jill stopped blogging a while back. Who knows what she's doing, she's a thespian type so she could be doing some big broadway play for all I know.

Blair is still blogging but he closed down his personal blog for one focused on his sports passion, Marquette basketball, and I have to say that he has built up Cracked Sidewalks to be something special.

A few others are still hanging around. Perfectly Cromulent is still going strong but PSoTD will be retired in the next couple of weeks and I can keep up with the The Spin Doctor between his blog and Twitter.

Still I can't help but think that all would be right in the world if just one man returned.

The Chronic Curmudgeon.

I've gotten a chance to know Chris a little and unfortunately my job (at the time) kept me from a golden opportunity to meet him and Blair and others in Philadelphia for his bachelor's party. Some I now regret, especially since I got laid off from the job last month. Now between a crazy gig at GM and family life I know Mudge's plate is full.

But still, think about all the things we've missed out on the last two years since he posted.

-- We got a black president, at least partially black, I'm claiming him. Definitely blacker than Bill Clinton, the last black president.

-- Sarah Palin

-- A-Rod on Drugs

-- His engagement and wedding

-- His new life as a stepfather

-- This depressing economy and his thoughts on how they have treated the industry he works for.

-- Britney's comeback

-- The emergence of the Tampa Bay Rays

-- Ummm....other stuff...

-- More stuff...

-- Fantasy baseball

-- I'm running out of things to convince him to comeback.

So fine. I'll just ask. Chris, my friend, return back to your roots. Let's either get the old band back together or try to find new band mater in the virtual world. Twitter is cool for the small stuff but 140 words is barely enough for a title to a post.

And if asking doesn't work, I'll probably beg...Eventually. Right now I'm going to just ask and assume you've got a minor minor itch.

Super Happy It's Over...

2009-02-03T01:39:00.002-05:00

...My Super Bowl week in the Tampa Bay area was interesting.

I had a little work, doing some drops for my good friend's Monster Energy Drink promotions team. It was fun, albeit quite rainy during the middle of the week, and it was pretty good money. Who am I to complain?

By Friday evening I was working for a local paper covering boys district soccer.

Three hours later I was standing two feet from Wyclef and watching Lindsay Lohan hold court at the ESPN party.

That was my week in a nutshell.

Now it's over which means the work is gone and it's back to the grind for yours truly. I needed the Super Bowl. It was good to see a lot of old friends in the business and it got me out of this jobless depression for a while. I was hoping that when the big game ended I'd be full of piss and vigor trying to generate my next opportunity. So far I'm not as pissy and vigory as I'd like but I do see something happening in the future.

Now I just need to get there.

Late Night Thoughts

2009-01-26T01:38:00.003-05:00

It looks like I have a meeting tomorrow with someone about something. Of course I know who and why but I can't offer any answers until later. My expectations are somewhere in between low and optimistic. My car has to go into the shop too, expectations are somewhere between devastating and disastrous.

It's weird but there are times like these when I really miss my Ledger Edge. I miss her whenever I think about her and why would haven't spoken in a couple years but right now I know she could listen and provide the insight I need to get me through a tough time.

The weird irony of life is if I get this job in Atlanta (chances are slim) that we'd be in the same city again and would probably run into each other because that's how life is. I hope that doesn't happen...I mean I want the job in Atlanta or any job that pays a decent salary, but I don't want to run into her and have that awkward moment between former friends.

Sometimes I want answers. I want to know why she cut me out of her life but I'm slightly worried about the answers because I know it will confirm my belief that something I said or did or didn't do really disappointed her. I would just apologize probably. At this stage that's all I could do but I'd apologize and ask for a forgiveness. I don't really want a new start, I'd rather just pick up where the old start left off.

Anyway I'm rambling, so back to the meeting tomorrow -- I hope it's better than what I expect it will be and maybe something good will come out of it. I need a job fast and frankly I'm not going to be selective. At this point anything to get me out of the walls of my home for 8 hours a day will suffice.

It's a Dog Eat Dog Shit World...

2009-01-23T11:24:00.003-05:00

...What happened to me?

8 years ago I was a prospect. A player. A future big timer. People from the New York office would call me and say "man there are a lot of powerful people who are very impressed by you". And at that time they should have been. I was 24 and I was part of the "new journalist" -- completely adapt at doing things the old way but keeping both eyes on the future and this internet thing that everyone was getting into.

I'm not sure when the wheels began to fall off, maybe it was when I got denied a management opportunity, but whatever happened I decided the newspaper game wasn't for me anymore to I skipped to do a start-up magazine.

It was a good move. I learned a lot about management and organization. I learned a lot of new skills and I learned how to manufacture large projects with very limited manpower. Three years worth of magazines into it and I was finally getting to a position of comfort going into 2009.

Then disaster strikes.

You know the old story. These are tough times, this is a tough economy, etc. etc. End story is the same -- we don't have the money and unfortunately pal, you don't have a job. That sucks but it's the game we have to play in 2009.

Now I'm stuck in no man's land. There are no jobs in my industry. The journalism business has been completely sucked dry. All those powerful people who were impressed by me have taken buyouts and moved on.

In 2009 it's different. I'm just looking for anything to survive right now. I like living in St. Petersburg and if I have to go work at someplace for a year or two until things get a little better. I can do that. As the title says, we're in a different world. Everything costs more but everyone's making a lot less. It's not the way we planned it but the world doesn't wait for us to adjust. Much like it was hundreds of years ago, it's a game of survival. Hopefully no one gets eaten alive.

Happy 4th!

2008-07-04T16:32:00.000-05:00

As Always...Whitney!

George Carlin :(

2008-06-23T00:43:00.003-05:00

One of the most groundbreaking, articulate, irreverent performance artists of all time.

He will be missed.

Teachers Gone Wild...

2008-05-21T11:54:00.002-05:00

...Obviously Florida has its fair share of teachers who have been willing to cross that line.

But in this community, it's gotten a little outrageous.

One quote really stands out for all the wrong reasons:

"I knew that she had sex with another student, so why not me?” the former Vian student told police. "She put off the vibes. I hit her up about it, and she did it.”

What kind of student actually calls a teacher on something like that?

It actually made me think. I was chatting with my mom a couple of days ago about my elementary school days in Brooklyn and how much my 4th grade teacher was in love with me (and for good reason, besides being incredibly handsome, I was a great student).

Anyway during the parent-teacher conference she's got her arm around me, rubbing my head, etc. etc. all while talking to my parents. The weird thing was, back in the mid-80s, this was reassuring and not at all strange. 20 years later poor Mrs. Weiner would've been canned for such an overt display of innocent affection.

Somewhat Bizarre...

2008-05-08T04:46:00.003-05:00

Remember this song?

...Yeesh I remember hearing this song about...5291 times during my first week of living in Gainesville back in 1997. Unfortunately I didn't discover the town's hip-hop station until the end of the summer.

However I always dug this little tune and never knew there was a video to go with it. The guy in the back seat of the car cracks me up. He's too lazy to even bother lip synching.

Anyway, OMC is actually just one guy who was part of a rap group that disbanded of the same name. Apparently it's an acronym for Otara Millionaries Club, with Otara being the poverty-stricken, gang-infested part of Auckland, New Zealand where the guy grew up. I think this song sold like $15 million worldwide, making his proclamation true.

Yes It's Monday, But That's No Excuse...

2008-05-05T10:00:00.002-05:00

An exchange at work.

Graphics Man No. 1: You know today is Cinco de Mayo. I didn't even realize that until I woke up this morning.

Graphics Man No. 2: Oh yeah, I hate that it's on a Monday.

Me: You know the Winghouse on the north end has $1 coronas all day.

Graphics Man No. 1: What?!

Me: You know the Winghouse on the north end has $1 coronas all day.

Graphics Man No. 1: Man that place is gonna be crazy slammed stinking packed by 5.

Me: Exactly, that's why you leave work at 3

1,000...

2008-04-29T10:13:00.004-05:00

I hit 1,000 text messages last month for the first time since I purchased the 1,000-message package for my phone. I'm embarassed and ashamed.

I would usually hit in the high 700s or even 800 if I was involved with someone who loved to text. Now it's like all of the friends that I keep daily contact with just text and text and text and text.

I hate text messaging, I hate cell phones altogether. Mine is basic. It doesn't take pictures, it doesn't surf the web, it doesn't include a nifty keyboard, it barely works indoors.

Why do we text so much? And what's with this anxiety of getting that text returned IMMEDIATELY. I swear I had six texts in a matter of 20 minutes yesterday and four of them were of the "Hey, are you there?" variety.

Do I Need a Caretaker...

2008-04-23T10:26:00.003-05:00

...every so often I like to assess where my personal life is. Who I see, what they do, how they live, if everything worked out (usually no).

So when I go to the "what they do" section I got this feedback:

Nurse
Nursing student
Dental Hygentist
Physical Therapist
Lawyer
911 Dispatcher
Dentral Hygentist

Skip the lawyer for a second and geez that's a lot of women in the health profession. And when I venture back even farther, I find more nurses and the such. Why is this? Now at first it made sense. I worked the third shift on a job and nurses (and emergency dispatchers) work equally moronic hours so it made for the easiest pairing. Of course I'm more of a 9 10 to 5 3:30 worker these days so I should be able to break out of this trend.

I guess I find comfort in the caretaker types. Isn't that what most men want anyway? Someone to take care of them. I mean we talk about wanting independent women but what we mean is we want women who will work all day AND take care of us. And own all their own shit. Yes, that's independence :)

Life & Basketball

2008-04-22T14:12:00.002-05:00

I read this on a message board and I felt like I needed to post it because it related sports to life and decision making:

******

I have always felt that you can tell everything about a person by playing basketball with them.

How much do they shoot?
Do they set screens?
Do they rebound?
Do they box out?
Do they help on defense?
How fast do they get down on defense?
Does their man beat them down the floor?
Do they make the extra pass?
How do they react when they miss or make a bad play?
Do they play hard when they are losing or winning?

Not many sports show a lack of effort like basketball. If one player is not doing their job, the other four suffer greatly.

Blast From the Past...

2008-04-21T12:49:00.002-05:00

...remember back when you used to look forward to watching an infovertisement. And be honest, who here owns Freedom Rock?

Ahh, That's Better...

2008-04-19T08:35:00.003-05:00

....It's tough when you spend all year trying to make yourself feel good and someone you don't know ruins 100+ days of work.

I got stood up last weekend and it sucks, it's one of the worst feelings I've ever had. How could someone who's never met you decide that they don't want to meet you and you're not even worth a phone call.

Luckily for me I have thick skin that the hurt went away pretty quickly. It's also good to have people like Taryn threaten to "punch her in the face". Things like that actually make me feel better than before because it comes from a person I care about so much and it shows that the feeling is mutual.

Anyway, it's Saturday so I'm going to hit the market and eventually hit the gym. In between there I'll probably watch some of these NBA Playoffs (I'm excited) and maybe I'll clean this mess of a house.

Happy Ham Day...

2008-03-23T11:59:00.003-05:00

...somewhere in the course of 31 years I've lost the meaning of Easter. So until I find it again or until it wants to be found I'm just going to use it as a chance to have an extended Sunday conversation with my parents.

And eat some jelly beans.

And watch some basketball.

Have a good one no matter how you decide to spend it.

I Guess Rumsfeld is on a ski trip.

2008-03-11T16:02:00.003-05:00

From today's AP story.

[President] Bush said Monday in the Oval Office that [Vice President] Cheney would "reassure people that the United States is committed to a vision of peace in the Middle East."

Ummmm...

God-like Sliders Recipe

2008-03-06T10:19:00.002-05:00

Don't ask me how many it serves, I'm guess it makes 12-15 mini burgers. And you'll have to drain the fat, I'd actually use a leaner meat to start with (90/10).

I got this recipe from a sports message board and an FSU fan came up with it. I'm sure he/she doesn't mind the rest of the world knowing. It's very damn good especially if you're not close to a White Castle or Krystal.

Ingredients
Between 1 lb and 1 1/2 pounds of beef
1 egg
1/3 c bread crumbs
1/3 c water
1 packet of lipton onion soup mix
salt & pepper salt to taste

Instructions
Mix, spread on cookie sheet, bake at 400 for ten. Drain fat and slice into squares with pizza cutter. Serve on buttered toasted dinner rolls with pickle. Add cheese if you want.

Enjoy

White Music, Black Music...

2008-03-03T13:32:00.004-05:00

...I love wasting time at work. Because I occasionally stumble across such gems like:

The Top 10 Rap Songs White People Love [Link]

and

The Top 10 Rock Songs Black People Love [Link]

I truly didn't know my people were into Duran Duran like we are. I figured it would be another British pop band like The Police or The Beatles or The Rolling Stones...Seriously our musical taste is better than Duran Duran! PLEASE tell me it is!!!

Bush Bumper Stickers: Pick you Favorite

2008-03-02T17:07:00.002-05:00

I'm not sure who to attribute these to because I found it off a message board from someone who found it off a message board.

I hope everyone is having a good weekend and if you aren't, it's 5 p.m. on Sunday (EST) so it isn't a lost cause yet.

32 BUSH BUMPER STICKERS FOR '08

1. Bush: End of an Error
2. That's OK, I Wasn't Using My Civil Liberties Anyway
3. Let's Fix Democracy in this Country First
4. If You Want a Nation Ruled By Religion, Move to Iran
5. Bush. Like a Rock. Only Dumber.
6. If You Can Read This, You're Not Our President (I like this one)
7. Of Course It Hurts: You're Getting Screwed by an Elephant
8. Hey, Bush Supporters: Embarrassed Yet?
9. George Bush: Creating the Terrorists Our Kids Will Have to Fight
10. Impeachment: It's Not Just for Blowjobs Anymore
11. America: One Nation, Under Surveillance
12. They Call Him "W" So He Can Spell It
13. Whose God Do You Kill For? (ouch)
14. Jail to the Chief
15. No, Seriously, Why Did We Invade Iraq?
16. Bush: God's Way of Proving Intelligent Design is Full Of Crap
17. Bad President! No Banana.
18. We Need a President Who's Fluent In At Least One Language (you mean stammering isn't a language?)
19. We're Making Enemies Faster Than We Can Kill Them
20. Is It Vietnam Yet?
21. Bush Doesn't Care About White People, Either
22. Where Are We Going? And Why Are We In This Handbasket?
23. You Elected Him. You Deserve Him.
24. Dubya, Your Dad Shoulda Pulled Out, Too (LOL)
25. When Bush Took Office, Gas Was $1.46
26. Pray For Impeachment
27. The Republican Party: Our Bridge to the 11th Century
28. What Part of "Bush Lied" Don't You Understand?
29. One Nation Under Clod
30. 2004: Embarrassed 2005: Horrified 2006: Terrified
31. Bush Never Exhaled
32. At Least Nixon Resigned

Voting...

2008-01-30T01:54:00.000-05:00

Today I had the chance to vote for the first African-American candidate that was everything I always hoped the first legitimate black president would be...

And I casted my vote for Hillary Clinton.

Talking about change is easier than executing it.

It Has to End...

2007-12-28T02:00:00.000-05:00

....2007 is ending and 2008 promises a new beginning.

As the year ends I'm reminded of hanging out with my friend Cameron in Gainesville last month.

It was one of those days, those perfect fall days in Florida. It was Florida-FSU weekend and it was everything it's always been. We grilled, we drank, we had a great time around other friends and family. After the game, we went to Gator City and played a little Golden Tee, drank a few more. I even got hit on by some chick who got turned off when I told her I graduated in 1999 (oh my god! I was just starting high school in 1999).

So after we get done with a night of celebration and fun. Cameron says "I don't want this night to end yet." So we walked through the streets and found some more people to hang out with until about 5 a.m.

For Cameron it was his last football game as a student at UF. He just received his law degree last week and he'll take the bar in March and subsequently leave Gainesville for a new life. I was there eight years ago and I understood how he felt.

We never want to move on to the next part of our lives. We always talk about it and we claim that we can't wait to go to high school and go to college and get our own apartment and get a job and get a spouse...But with each step forward we take a long last look behind. Even if its a moment in our lives we hated...we still look back with the belief that it made us a better person for going through it.

These were no such bad times, Cameron helped me extend my college years too. I always knew he would travel to games, I always knew he'd have a couch for me to pass out on. Last week he said good bye to his college years and by association, I said good bye to mine as well. I can now officially start my life as an alumnus.

I remember in 2005 when I took my Ledger Edge to the UF-FSU game. It was one of those days where so many of my great friends showed up and I remember thinking that it would probably be the last time all of us were together at the same time...it was.

It's hard to believe that last month was the last time Cameron and I will enjoy the big game and it won't be. We'll travel to games next year and hopefully for many years beyond. But they will never be the same as it was this year. Unfortunately it had to end. Fortunately it had to end. Thanks for the friendship Cameron and thanks for helping me extend my college years. These were the best of times.

Holy Calories Batman!

2007-11-21T10:18:00.000-05:00

Thanks to my monthly wellness bible (a.k.a. Men's Health) for providing the information on the 20 worst foods you can eat.

And the list....*drum roll*

20. Chicken Selects Premium Breast Strips from McDonald's (five pieces) with creamy ranch sauce: 830 cal, 55 g fat (4.5 g trans fat), 48 g carbs
The only thing "premium" about these strips is the caloric price you pay. Add a large fries & a regular soda and this seemingly innocuous chicken meal tops out at 1,710 cal.

19. Jamba Juice Chocolate Moo'd Power Smoothie (30 fl oz): 900 cal, 10 g fat, 183 g carbs (166 g sugar)
Jamba Juice calls it a smoothie: we call it a milk shake. In fact, this beverage contains as much sugar as eight pints of Ben & Jerry's butter pecan ice cream.

18. Pepperidge Farm Roasted Chicken Pot Pie (whole pie): 1,020 cal, 64 g fat, 86 g carbs
The label may say this pie serves two, but who ever divided a small pot pie in half? The sad truth is, once you crack the crust, there will be no stopping -- which makes this 300 calories worse than anything else you'll find in the freezer case.

17. Ruby Tuesday's Bella Turkey Burger: 1,145 cal, 71 g fat, 56 g carbs
We chose this burger for more than its calorie payload: Its name implies that it's healthy.

16. Chipotle Mexican Grill Chicken Burrito: 1,179 cal, 47 g fat, 125 g carbs, 2,656 mg sodium
Despite a reputation for using healthy fresh ingredients, Chipotle's menu is limited to king-size burritos, overstuffed tacos and gigantic salads -- all of which lead to a humongous waistline.

15. Macaroni Grill Double Macaroni 'n' Cheese: 1,210 cal, 62 g fat, 3,450 mg sodium
It's like feeding your kid 1-1/2 boxes of Kraft mac 'n' cheese.

14. Quiznos Classic Italian (large): 1,528 cal, 92 g fat, 4,604 mg sodium, 110 g carbs
A large homemade sandwich would more likely provide about 500 calories.

13. On the Border Grande Taco Salad with Taco Beef: 1,450 cal, 102 g fat, 78 g carbs, 2,410 mg sodiumThis isn't an anomaly: five different On the Border salads on the menu contain more than 1,100 calories each.

12. Carl's Jr. Double Six Dollar Burger: 1,520 cal, 111 g fat
Carl's Jr. brags that it's home to this enormous sandwich, but the restaurant chain also provides convenient nutrition info on its website -- so ignorance is no excuse for eating it.

11. Lonestar 20 oz. T-bone steak: 1,540 cal, 124 g fat
Add a baked potato and Lonestar's Signature Lettuce Wedge, and this is a 2,700-calorie blowout.

10. Bob Evans Caramel Banana Pecan Cream Stacked & Stuffed Hotcakes: 1,540 cal, 77 g fat (9 g trans fat), 198 g carbs (109 g sugar)
Five Egg McMuffins yield the same caloric cost as this stack of sugar-stuffed flapjacks, which is truly a heavy breakfast, weighing in at a hefty pound-and-a-half.

9. Chili's Chocolate Chip Paradise Pie with Vanilla Ice Cream: 1,600 cal, 78 g fat, 215 g carbs
Would you eat a Big Mac for desert? How about three? That's the calorie equivalent of this decadent dish. Clearly, Chili's customers get their money's worth.

8. P.F. Chang's Pork Lo Mein: 1,820 cal, 127 g fat, 95 g carbs
The fat content in this dish alone provides more than 1,100 calories. And you'd have to eat almost five servings of pasta to match the number of carbohydrates it contains. Now, do you really need five servings of pasta?

7. Chili's Honey Chipotle Crispers with Chipotle Sauce: 2,040 cal, 99 g fat, 240 g carbs
"Crispers" refers to an extra-thick layer of bread crumbs that soaks up oil and adds unnecessary calories and carbs to these glorified chicken strips.

6. On the Border Dos XX Fish Tacos with Rice & Beans: 2,100 cal, 130 g fat, 169 g carbs, 4,750 mg sodium
Perhaps the most misleadingly named dish in America. A dozen crunchy tacos from Taco Bell will saddle you with fewer calories.

5. Uno Chicago Grill Chicago Classic Deep Dish Pizza: 2,310 cal, 162 g fat, 123 g carbs, 4,470 mg sodiumDowning this "personal" pizza is the equivalent to eating 18 slices of Domino's Crunchy Thin Crust cheese pie.

4. Macaroni Grill Spaghetti & Meatballs with Meat Sauce: 2,430 cal, 128 g fat, 207 g carbs, 5,290 mg sodium
This meal satisfies your calorie requirements for an entire day.

3. On the Border Stacked Border Nachos: 2,740 cal, 166 g fat, 191 g carbs, 5,280 mg sodium

2. Chili's Awesome Blossom: 2,710 cal, 203 g fat, 194 g carbs, 6,360 mg sodium

1. Outback Steakhouse Aussie Cheese Fries with Ranch Dressing: 2,900 cal, 182 g fat, 240 g carbs
Even if you split these "starters" with three friends, you'll have downed a dinner's worth of calories before your entree arrives.

Also, a list of restaurants that refused to give MH a full disclosure of their nutritional numbers: Applebee's; California Pizza Kitchen; Chipotle; Cracker Barrel; Fuddruckers; Hooters; IHOP; Maggiano's Little Italy; Olive Garden; Outback; Perkins; Quiznos; Ruth's Chris Steakhouse; TGI Friday's.

Happy Thanksgiving kids. Note to self, enjoy all these things and more -- Homemade, where you can control the ingredients and the intake.

Salut to the Safe Haven

2007-11-16T13:05:00.000-05:00

I often times my fun of my adopted home state (Florida) for the variety of silly and occasionally backwards laws.

However, when I heard of the safe haven law a couple of years ago I was always hopeful that more women with newborn children would utilize it, especially if it meant the difference between life and death for a child.

So reading this story by my former co-worker Bill Bair, I'm happy that someone had the good sense to take advantage of the safe haven and while it must be tough for a mother to give up her child, it's the true definition of a mother to always look out for the best interest of her child.

Uhhhh No Thanks...

2007-11-14T17:15:00.000-05:00

...I'm on a diet...again.

Dieting has actually gotten easier this time around because I'm not putting crazy pressure on myself. Take it day-to-day and don't try to kill yourself. The weight wasn't put on overnight it won't come off overnight.

Of course my main weaknesses are sweets. I can eat fruit, veggies and cut out fried foods, but those damn sweets get me everytime.

Anyway I'm roaming around the Sweetbay one morning looking for juice and apples when I stop upon the bakery. (Now I could get into the horrible set of circumstances that places the bakery right next to the entrance, but I won't) And of course I start scanning the fresh baked donuts preparing to cheat. Even talking myself into it.

"Hey it's breakfast, you've got all day to work this off."

"Eat the donut with an apple and it'll digest easier."

"You've got to walk back home from the Sweetbay anyway, you need the sugar."

Anyway, I'm scanning...The sour cream ones don't look so good but those glazed ones look out of sight. And then I see the sign.

GLAZED YEAST ROLLS 0.63

Glazed yeast rolls?!?! I don't know why but this turned me off. I mean I'll eat a donut but there's no way in hell I'm chomping on a glazed yeast roll. And I leave.

Thanks Sweetbay. I'll need all the help I can get.

The Old Dog...

2007-11-06T19:53:00.000-05:00

...My cousin died last week. I didn't know her very well at all, I will guess to say I hadn't seen her in over 20 years and I don't remember her face. I remember hearing about her a lot over the years and she might have even shown up on the doorstep of the family home back when we lived in Brooklyn, but that was a long time ago.

Anyway LaTonia had problems with addiction for much of her adult life. Many families have someone in the fold that has problems and loves to live that life in the fast lane. Of course when you live fast (and your name isn't Keith Richards) you die quicker and I believe she was in her late 40s or early 50s when she passed on.

It's always a little strange and a little unnerving when a relative dies, especially one that was closer to my age bracket (which will be 31 on Monday). And I feel bad that she could never get the help she needed to fight and conquer her addictions. I guess I'm reminded of what the old dog said when he continued to go hunting with his owner despite years and years of wear and tear on his body. Every Saturday, the old dog would be waiting for for his owner to go on the hunt despite being slower and older than all the other dogs.

After one particularly grueling hunt that left the old dog worn down and beaten up the owner finally asked him what he still does it when he could just go off into the pasture with the other old dogs.

The old dog, licking his wounds, looked up at his owner at said, "You know me...I've had all I can take but not all that I want."

Halloween and Go Joe!

2007-10-31T11:53:00.000-05:00

First I must say god bless Joe Biden for this zinger:

"And the irony is, Rudy Giuliani, probably the most underqualified man since George Bush to seek the presidency, is here talking about any of the people here. Rudy Giuliani... I mean, think about it! Rudy Giuliani. There's only three things he mentions in a sentence -- a noun, a verb, and 9/11. There's nothing else! There's nothing else! And I mean this sincerely. He's genuinely not qualified to be president."

Unfortunately he's got less of a chance of being the next president than I do and I only say that because I'll get some of the black vote in the boroughs of Queens and Brooklyn.

So today is Halloween and I'm all about the one day where women above 16 and under 25 dress in highly revealing clothing and call them costumes. Last year I went to a party as Hef and two my two friends (who were predictably, Playboy bunnies) were with me. Fun costume. Fun party. Otherwise if you dress up on Halloween and you're not a kid and you're not going to a party...you need help. If you dress up for Halloween at work, you need help :). End of story.

However, as I reach into my pocket to buy candy for tonight's panhandlers I must remember my old Halloween days back in New York. I miss those times. I miss those nights trick or treating. My favorite candy....hmmm I was (and continue to be) partial to Kit Kats, Twix and of course the greatest candy on earth Mike & Ike.

My mom used to buy those Hershey's mix packs. You know the ones with the Hershey Bars, the Krackel, Mr. Goodbar and Special Dark. Poor Special Dark, it got avoided like the plague. Come Christmas time the candy jar was filled with those unopened Special Dark bars and as always mom would melt them into her Christmas cookies.

Those were the days.

Bye Bye Bob Goulet

2007-10-30T19:18:00.000-05:00

I'd be a bad blogger if I didn't mention the death of the great Canadian crooner Robert Goulet. While many people (and I include myself) weren't familiar with much (or any) amount of Robert Goulet's body of work. We do remember him being immortalized by Will Ferrell on Saturday Night Live.

One of my favorite pieces of sketch comedy. Yes Ferrell uses the N-word twice in the skit. I don't think it was meant to be malicious.

Exercising All Options

2007-10-29T11:35:00.000-05:00

I've been crushing on this manager at Enterprise Rent-A-Car recently. During the football season I'm a frequent customer so she's seen me a bit and naturally she's blown away by my boyish good looks and irresistable charm.

Anyway, I try to keep the flirting to a minimum, but I had a golden opportunity today as she checked me in.

Enterprise blondie: So did you head up to Tallahassee this weekend?

Me: Nope, went to Jacksonville.

Enterprise blondie: You went to the game.

Me: Sure did.

Enterprise blondie: You go to the games a lot. Do you have a problem getting tickets.

Me: Nah, I get as many as I need for whichever game I want to go to (total lie, but it sounded good).

Enterprise blondie: Could you get me tickets for the Thanksgiving weekend?

Me: Sure...how many you need?

Enterprise blondie: Two

(SHIT!)

Me: Sure, no problem...who are you taking?

(Please say "sorosity sister")

Enterprise blondie: My boyfriend

(SHIT!)

Me: I can do that...so how long you been dating?

Enterprise blondie: Over a year, he's a big fan too...

Me: Ahhh that's good.

Enterprise blondie: Yup that's not a problem is it?

Me: What your boyfriend?

Enterprise blondie: Yeah...

Me: Nah....I can get around boyfriends....it's husbands that give me trouble. Have a good day.

Oh Hell Naw!

2007-10-03T11:54:00.000-05:00

Kanye brings the good stuff on SNL since none of the regulars can seem to do it anymore.

Immortalized Forever...

2007-09-26T04:18:00.001-05:00

The New York Times finally opened their archives.

And I found the greatest clip I've ever produced. I think that was the easiest and proudest $175 I ever made in the business.

Update...

2007-08-15T13:56:00.000-05:00

I've spent the last two weekends visiting friends and family so I haven't had a lot of time to post.

I'm basically the walking wounded at work. I have zero motivation to do my job and in a lot of ways it sucks. I think I want to get back in the newspaper game. I definitely want to contribute. I'm not sure to the extent that I want to contribute, but I want to be more than an occasional correspondent and less than a full-time worker bound to a beat or a desk at a daily.

Seeing the friends was good. I hung out with Reverend Evan most of last Saturday and took in the Mets-Cubs tilt with him. I'm proud of the good Reverend. I'm pretty critical of those who claim to be religious leaders, but Evan walks the walk every single day of his life. He's not perfect, but he's honest and he is solid within his faith. I might not agree with everything, but I respect anyone who keeps their word and does what he says he's going to do.

Meanwhile he's preparing for a marriage and she's quite the looker, so there's one for the side of God.

I also got to go to my friend Laurel's going-away party (even though she's not leaving until the 30th). I'm going to miss Laurel when she heads to San Diego, but I'm glad I get to see her every week right now.

Oddly enough remember when I mentioned that my Ledger Edge wasn't speaking to me? Well she still isn't. However, she's also not speaking to my friend (Laurel's dad) and her longtime mentor BIF. At least now I don't feel so bad. Either way, I know you're going to come across this post Ledger Edge and I wanted to say that I miss you. When you're ready to come back, you'll be welcomed with open arms.

Hmmm what else is going on.

Mike Vick should take his plea like a man, serve his time and next time he decides to do something stupid, just drive drunk and kill someone like this guy, you won't have to serve any time or a suspension. In the grand scheme of things, this isn't the stupidest thing anyone (named Vick) has ever done, he can recover in time.

Karl Rove's damage is done for now. If he goes to hell, he's probably getting off too easy. Jail would be a nice start.

I've been in a Rage Against the Machine mode recently, so I leave you with their last "video" as a band. Renegades of Funk. So Dance sucka!

Interesting Viewpoint...

2007-08-11T10:58:00.000-05:00

...to save America, we need another 9/11 says one Philadelphia columnist who is begging for attention.

Maybe we just need one less columnist.

If Only This Was a Joke...

2007-08-06T15:50:00.001-05:00

http://www.fstdt.com/fundies/top100.aspx

As my friend Taryn says, they should appoint a lifeguard to the gene pool.

About the Music...

2007-08-03T08:37:00.000-05:00

...I stopped buying CDs a while back thanks to iTunes. People brags about their CD collections while I've downloaded the majority of mine to my various MP3 players and recycled them. Part of my reason for this is because today's music sucks and I wouldn't dare buy a CD of 10 shitty songs to listen to 2 good ones.

However, I made a CD purchase that I'm legitimate pysched about. I bought the CD of YouTube sensation Ronald Jenkees.

Basically if you're like the one person on Earth that hasn't heard of Ronald Jenkees since he's composed the theme music for Bill Simmons' ESPN Podcasts here's a sample of his "jams"

That's the guy. From what I know he's from Kentucky and denies any forms of autism or otherwise (he just says he looks goofy). But who gives a damn, the kid is a BEAST on the keyboard. Plus he likes a lot of the beatmasters that I like and has tried to imitate many of them.

So for the first time since I purchased the Marshall Mathers CD, I'm excited about getting a CD and I feel like I'm actually supporting someone who really has a major obsession with his love. It's nice in a way. Of course Ronald's "beats" aren't for everyone, but I have a feeling that kid is going to make a lot of coin composing music for like Final Fantasy 21 on the Playstation 6 or something.

Have a good weekend and in the words of Ronald Jenkees.

Peace Out.

Why I Love FSU...

2007-08-02T13:39:00.001-05:00

....Because the professors keep up with pop culture and love to relive episodes of Laguna Beach.

Does this make you wonder how many more women Ted Turner is shacking up with? Is he going to be the younger, hipper Hugh Hefner?

We're in August...

2007-08-01T10:30:00.000-05:00

...finally July has come to an end.

And with it so have all of my professional obligations.

Am I a free agent? Not really. I actually come at a hefty cost :). Nor am I really out hunting for anything (maybe happiness and a better hour-to-income ratio), but the feeling of freedom that I have this second can't be explained in writing. It's like I've pried a door open that's been closed since around February.

Anyway, some other random stuff.

In the last two years I've dated (in order) a Katie, Katherine, Katie, Kate, Kathryn, Katie and Kristen. I'm coming for you next K-Stew, you just have to dump the barber first. Don't worry about me asking any stupid questions either, I'm a 2 and proud of it (that's a pretty inside joke there).

I really want to see The Simpsons movie. I haven't had a chance and this is probably a good week to do it.

For the first time in a long time, I'm really not excited about football season yet, which is odd for me. Maybe I'll get there after my fantasy football draft.

I'm very very sad to see my good friend Laurel leave to go get her Master's degree (or something related) in San Diego. Now I'm thrilled she's going to San Diego, not many better places to live in this country, but it's another friend leaving. I remember how sad I was when my Ledger Edge left the area.

Michael Vick gets blacklisted on Broadway for dogfighting while Kobe Bryant didn't got through any similar problems despite a rape charge. Makes you wonder if dogs have a bigger and more powerful financial voice to support them than women.

[UPDATE: Someone on a Pittsburgh local sports show mentioned this point (albeit in a more bombastic way) and was reprimanded.]

That's all I got today.

Harry Potter..

2007-07-26T09:33:00.001-05:00

...I haven't read the new Harry Potter book, I haven't read the other six either. This has never been a problem in my life, many of my friends haven't read the series and my family probably doesn't even know it exists.

I generally prefer non-fiction or satirical pieces over fictional voyages into mind. That's just me. I never thought of it as a big deal. I have a great amount of respect for J.K. Rowling, I think she's a great story of survival and success. I'd love to read an autobiography on her, something I'm sure many fans of her fictional work would probably ignore since the story is always more exciting than the storyteller.

Still I don't understand when I tell this to people, who have read the series, they look at me like I'm crazy. Like I missed some major revelation in life.

"Oh my god, you've NEVER read Harry Potter!?!?!"

Nope.

I get the same reaction when I say I've never watched an episode of "Friends" and only sparingly watched "Seinfeld". Concerning the former, it never interested me, concerning the latter, I watched "Curb Your Enthusiam" first and anyone who's watched both will tell you that once you see "Curb", "Seinfeld" becomes extremely unfunny and irrelevant.

But back to the land of muggles and wizards, it seems that some people can't except that Harry Potter isn't everyone's taste. Much like wasn't crazy about Lord of the Rings or half the Star Wars episodes.

I also know that it isn't a "kid's" book and I'm all for people discussing literature of any form so the conversation doesn't bother me, just don't get offended when I say I haven't read them and there's a extremely slim chance I ever will.

Month of Hell Comes to an End...

2007-07-19T17:12:00.000-05:00

...I haven't been a fan of July...Ever.

Now I should've loved July when I was a kid in New York City because summers in New York are great thanks to baseball, cookouts and amusement parks. However, many good Julys were spent visiting my mother's family in Elloree, South Carolina (which is as exciting as it sounds).

Unfortunately I never really appreciated those times in Elloree, mainly because it was boring as shit and I missed the excitement of the big city. As I got old enough to stop being forced to go to Elloree, I stopped going. Matter of fact I've only been there twice since 1991 -- once for my grandfather's funeral and once for my grandmother's funeral.

Then there's 2004 and Hurricane Charley...followed up by Hurricane Frances...followed up by Hurricane Jeanne.

In all fairness those happened in August and September, but screw it. July sucks!

The heat is another thing. It's HOT AS HELL in Florida in July. Granted it's hot here from like February to November, but July is a new kind of hot, it's like hot that only countries from the "third world" (this includes Texas) feel. Seriously, I know the Devil Rays are the worst baseball team ever at anything, but thank god they play in a dome (even if it's unattractive and outdated)

So July comes to an end and with it I find that the live I have put on hold since mid-May is slowly recovering and recognizing me again.

My Life: Corey....Is that you...it looks like you?

Me: Yes life, it's me.

My Life: You look tired and you need to shave.

Me: Yes yes, I know. I'm very tired, it's been a long last month in a half.

My Life: And you could use a new wardrobe or at least another pair of jeans.

Me: Yes, I haven't been shopping in a while.

My Life: Well nonetheless, it's good to see you again, we need to get together soon and hang out, it's been a long time.

Me: Yeah, no doubt, I've got a little more time now, what have I missed.

My Life: Well your best friend Cesar had a child, Stephen, and he's getting married in September.

Me: Oh really, good for Ces.

My Life: You know you're a groomsman in his wedding.

Me: Really?

My Life: Yeah you'll need to get fitted for a tuxedo soon.

Me: Great...I just love weddings...

My Life: Another one of your best friend's just got engaged and you've actually been on two dates, I had fun while you were thinking about work. You need a haircut and your Ledger Edge isn't speaking to you right now.

Me: Huh? She isn't. What did I do?

My Life: I'm your life, not your conscience.

Happy 4th...

2007-07-04T21:15:00.001-05:00

I hope you all had a great day. And now I present...Mariah!

I'll be back in a few days. I promise!

A New Look...

2007-06-20T10:24:00.000-05:00

Check out Jill's new look on her blog. It's very much New York and pretty sexy, much like the author herself. I would mention the blogs of hers that I love to read, but I usually lose focus when I start looking at the pictures.

The Perfect Ending...

2007-06-10T22:47:00.000-05:00

Some will win, some will lose, some are born to sing the blues...the movie never ends it just goes on and on and on and on....

And there goes The Sopranos. Perfect lyric to sum up Tony's life.

What did he see? Did he see Meadow walking through the diner door or did he see the barrel of a gun and a quick ending to a tumultuous life?

Not Only Does Christmas Come Early...

2007-06-08T16:40:00.000-05:00

...But it comes twice!

For your viewing pleasure we have a choice. Either you can enjoy Amanda Beard's Playboy spread until someone demands they take it down (these are NSFW in case you needed a reminder).

Or you can enjoy this image from Paris Hilton's dark day.

Have a good weekend!

Ok, This is Funny...

2007-06-07T11:28:00.000-05:00

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/retired_gen_george_washington

"This entire military venture has been foolhardy and of ill design," said Washington, dressed in his customary breeches and frilly cravat. "The manifold mistakes committed by this president in Iraq carry grave consequences, and he who holds the position of commander in chief has the responsibility to right those wrongs."

Of course the conservative pundit response is even funnier.

"I don't care who you are—or if you cannot tell a lie—it's un-American to question the president in a time of war," Sean Hannity said on his radio program Monday. "Plus, I find it very interesting that a man who owned slaves and sold hemp thinks he's entitled to give our Commander in Chief lessons on how to run a war."

Fun With the 'N' Word...

2007-05-23T09:27:00.000-05:00

...Not sure how this delightful little gem slipped past me.

Clearing the Head...

2007-05-21T01:17:00.000-05:00

....yeah yeah it's been a while. Get off my back ok!

I finally see what Chris Rock was talking about in his autobiography -- I embrace the clutter in my head. I personally feel like clearing the mind is slightly overrated. Sure it might make you sleep better but the only person that appears to have a clear mind is President Bush.

But in my profession I think the clutter in my head is a necessity. As the editor of any sort of publication you embrace the clutter, you embrace the constant chaos and numbers and jumbled mess that sits around in your head waiting to unleash itself at the exact moment of deadlines.

Unfortunately this clutter keeps me from doing the important things in life, like...breathing and communicating with my friends or the people that act friendly towards me.

But for this temporary moment I'm back, if only to wonder if I'm supposed to celebrate the life or Jerry Falwell or celebrate his death. Who knows really? Plus I haven't read any of Jill's tales in over a month and promised Kathryn I'd catch up with her a week ago.

Four Years Ago Today...

2007-05-01T13:02:00.000-05:00

Our fearless leader declared victory once and for all in Iraq with those famous words.

A bittersweet victory indeed.

Rudy Breaks It Down...

2007-04-25T11:16:00.000-05:00

...Vote for me or be subjected to a tragic death.

I'm not sure where this rates at on the most despicable attempts to pull the 9/11 tragedy (which happened under a Republican's watch in case you are keeping score) in to votes but I'm sure it's definitely in the Top 5.

We've Got a Lot to Talk About...

2007-04-23T00:27:00.000-05:00

...lots of good but a lot of question marks. Where do we start? I mean I need to close deals and I need to do it this week. I feel like I'm in an episode of "168" because no one does that much shit in 24 hours. I need to commit to my workouts more than ever. It's never easy. I'm not motivated with my job right now. The woman I love the most would never take my overtures seriously. The Mets can't take 2 of 3 from the Braves for anything. I'm going to have to back out of a Vegas trip I probably need to take.

The good is the best place to start:

I have friends. No I mean I have really got a good circle of friends here in St. Petersburg that I can now talk to on a regular basis and hang out with on weekends. It's a good circle, very electic bunch that have all known each other since grade school and they have accepted me despite my lack of history. That's a good feeling -- to blend in with people who have a long history that doesn't include you -- and it's made my time here in St. Pete much better than I expected.

I did get back on the workout horse. Yep, I'm back in the gym and I'm doing it full-time this time. Basically I'll do about an hour of cardio everyday whether I make it to the gym or not and lift four times a week. I'll probably devote a day to stretching as soon as I learn the proper way to stretch. I also need to buy a bike as well, but I'll wait a while and get some pricing day. Any suggestions on a solid two-wheeler? As for my commitment level, it's high but I'm taking it slowing. First checkpoint will be my friend's wedding over Labor Day weekend.

Ok now the hard part.

Work. I can't describe the funk I'm in with my work. I came into this pre-production period so exciting and it's been drained out of me. I know what the problems are to a certain extent -- I don't feel comfortable with too many elements of the major project. I feel like we've went about this in the wrong way. We're more concerned with putting out a product that impresses us rather than one that the people want. We incorrectly assumed that the people wanted what we were giving and they don't. I'd like for the parties involved to come to a meeting of the minds and rethink these next few weeks but I don't see it happening.

And frankly, I have other interests. Part of me misses the newsroom but more than that I want to go back to working on the authoring projects I've put on the backburner all my life. I'd rather find something that I work 8-5 and get a clean break when I leave the office. This isn't to say that I'd make more money doing other things, I don't know if I would. But I know what I want to do and I know what I'm doing isn't that. It's a hard thing for me to say because I love the project and I love the topic, I just don't like the direction and I don't think I can change it.

Woman. That's not even a subject worth discussing because it's so far away from even a confrontation and confession. It's just stress that will hang over my head for a while and it's something I have to accept.

Right now my goal is just to have a productive Monday and after I'm done with that I'll aim for a productive Tuesday. I don't think that's too much to expect.

Ok Ok, I've Been Busy...

2007-04-18T07:35:00.000-05:00

...Between a trip out of town to see my parents and all the stuff happening at work, it's a time consuming effort to keep up with all.

So when Mudge e-mailed me to ask what's up, I knew I'd been out of the game too long.

And it's a shame really because there's so much to talk about between Imus (controversial) and the Virginia Tech shootings (tragic). So I can hit on those two things quickly and leave my personal stuff for another day, maybe even tomorrow.

On Imus, it's interesting to think of all the people he's insulted that the Rutgers woman's basketball team would be the group to take him down. That pretty much tells me that it was his time to go and his next stumble at any level was probably going to send him packing. At the end of the day it just isn't a big deal -- Imus will resurface on satellite radio I'm sure and even though a lot of news publications aren't allowing their talent to appear on is show now, they will become lax in those rules later.

Imus fell into the same trap that Michael Richards did -- he just isn't funny. I love racial humor, I think Dave Chappelle dressing up as a Klansman is one of the funniest pieces of comic art I'll ever see in my life. I think Lisa Lampanelli is hysterical and she goes after EVERYONE. So I'm certainly not above some cheap laughs. That being said, Imus wasn't funny and therefore it sounded mean. Do I think he meant it? No. Do I think he's a racist? Possibly, there is a bad history there, but I chalk it up to ignorance more than anything else. Do I think he should've been fired? Hard to say, but if he prides himself on having a show with many of the nation's top political and social personalities, he should conduct himself with a lot more professionalism.

As for Virginia Tech, there isn't much to say that hasn't been said. Although I won't tell anybody this is Generation Y's version of Kent State. Not at all, Kent State was government-supported killings of people expressing their first amendment rights, it was one of this country's darkest moments as a free nation. Virginia Tech was a brutal mass murder of innocent people for no apparent reason other than the neglect of a young man who was obviously troubled. Not to say both aren't completely horrific, they are, but they are very different.

It also brings up a question about campus safety. During my years as a student at the University of Florida and Florida State University, I attended school with roughly 80,000 people. The public campuses was so open that anyone could get off and on the campus without a security check. Anyone could go into a class, anyone could go into a dorm, anyone could go into the libraries or administration building or science labs. I'm surprised this hasn't happened before and I wouldn't be surprised if the nation's next major crime (on a 9-11 scale) happens on a public college campus. Hopefully this incident will force every college and university to look into the safety on their campus.

And for something positive, a big up to the Washington Nationals for their small, yet thoughtful tribute.

With Much Sadness...

2007-04-12T06:56:00.000-05:00

...I read about the death of Kurt Vonnegut. One of the great writers of this era who was continuing to write about the things that people, especially Americans, needed someone to write about.

First Meatless Thursday...

2007-04-05T11:11:00.000-05:00

...I have made a health-conscious decision to go vegeterian twice a week (Mondays and Thursdays) mainly to get my fill of fruits and vegetables. I'm going to try to chef it up too much on meatless days. As a matter of fact I'm just having leftover pasta tonight with a chunky vegetable marinara sauce.

So far today things have been going ok. I started the day with some cinnamon spice oatmeal and I forgot my cup of fruit for a midday snack so I've had some sugarless gum, a chocolate chip granola bar and a bowl of tossed salad.

This really isn't so bad. I think I can hack this twice a week, especially since Pacific Wave has $1 sushi nights on Thursday. I can load up on cucumber rolls or something.

So this is good. I haven't killed yet. I could use a nice steak or a roast beef sandwich, but I'm chilling.

Are You 5th Grade Smart?

2007-04-03T12:55:00.000-05:00

Take the quiz.

I regrettably made 85%, two of which I probably would have missed but I stupidly missed a grammar question I should know.

As Good As Expected...

2007-04-01T08:43:00.000-05:00

...I knew Saturday was going to be a good day. It's a great weekend here in St. Petersburg as the Devil Rays usually play a good team in the spring finale (even better it was my beloved Mets) and one can hear the Indy cars zooming by at the St. Pete Grand Prix.

Downtown St. Pete is incredibly charming on a normal Saturday but with baseball season in full effect things are going to be a lot more entertaining. Yes the Devil Rays suck and I fully expect them to go 28-134, but St. Pete is still a good baseball city and the few fans that support the Rays are extremely devoted.

--New York Met fans, which made up roughly 50% of the nice crowd at Tropicana Field, were in full season form yesterday as noted:

Drunken Lady Heckling Beltran: "That's right Carlos, keep the bat on your shoulder! Don't worry about swinging.

[Beltran takes a walk]

Another Met Fan: Yeah and he worked an 0-2 count into a walk ya stupid bitch!

--I somehow received three lower box seats for this game through the power of Will Call and I did what any good man would do -- I found the two hottest women in eyesight and gave them the extra two tickets (which were a row below the one I kept).

--After the game, a ride home and a quick shower I headed to my friend Dema's house (real name Michael) to watch the Final Four. Now my perfect Saturday ended with Georgetown's loss, but the joy of the evening was not gone.

Among the favorite comments of the evening:

On Expressions

Brooke: Why does [Greg Oden] always look so sad and despondent.

Me: How would you look if you had three teenage boys and you're last attempt at riches is to fake being an 18-year old basketball prodigy when you're really a 34-year-old former NAIA All-American praying to god no one finds your real identity.

On Commercials

Tanno: I fucking hate that Asian guy on those Cingular commercials. He's so fucking smug. I just want to shove that broadband card up his ass and say "How good is that fucking signal?".

On Nationalities

Kevin's Girlfriend (who's name escapes me): [Joakim Noah's dad] looks so funny.

Dema: Noah was born and raised in New York City, his mom's a Swede model

Me: And his dad is black French.

(BTW Black Europeans totally fascinate me. It's like they are as black as I am, but far cooler than being a black American. I mean Samuel L. Jackson is especially cool, but how much cooler would he be with an English accent? I'd trade in my professional and become a plumber just so I could be a Black European. One of my favorite athletic encounters was with Lennox Lewis. He speaks perfect english and his way of humor is so logical but dry and witty. I love black Europeans.)

Tanno: That's right, he's loves fried chicken and losing wars.

(laughter)

Me: Yep Collard Greens and surrendering.

(Ahh making fun of historical wars never gets old).

What made this gathering even better was the fact that Dema is staying off alcohol for 30 days as is our friend Stephen. I didn't have a drink and I'm dieting again. Tanno and Brooke barely had a sip of Crown Royal. It's proof that excessive swearing among friends guarantees a good time regardless of alcoholic consumption.

Part of my dieting will be going vegetarian two days a week until further notice -- Monday and Thursday starting this upcoming Thursday. I would start Monday, but Monday is a major sporting event and that's always a meat night.

Happy Saturday...

2007-03-31T10:02:00.000-05:00

...with a day before the opening salvo of the Major League Baseball season, I get to see my New York Mets in their spring finale against the team soon to go 28-134, the Tampa Bay Devil Rays!

Spring is here...sort of...I mean it was 92 degrees yesterday, so in Florida terms, spring is technically gone.

But to hell with it. Go Mets!

Maher On Bush, Plame...

2007-03-26T14:06:00.000-05:00

...Much applause to Bill Maher who pretty much goes postal on the Bush administration for their very unpatriotic involvement in blowing the cover of one of the troops they claim to support, former CIA agent Valerie Plame. This is a Grade-A smackdown.

Another Busy Week...

2007-03-25T04:01:00.000-05:00

...But I must keep on enduring.

It was actually a tumultuous week. I almost blew up at one good friend, another good friend spent most of the week in the hospital and I reconnected with my Ledger Edge, who might have missed our conversations more than I thought.

*****

Overheard on a date (that may have included me):

He says: "No I don't believe in marriage right now."

She says: "Why not?"

He says: "Well I'm not getting married until everyone in America is allowed to get married."

She looks impressed.

He says: "Plus 50% of all marriages end in divorce. People don't respect the deed anymore."

She says: "This is true."

He says: "It's risky. I mean if you found out 50% of cruises ended in fiery death would you pressure your friends to go on cruises?"

She gives blank look.

He loves making ridicule of marriage.

*****

With Kansas losing today my NCAA Brackets officially turned to shit and I lost my predicted champion. On a personal level I'm completely wrapped up in Hoya Paranoia right now as Georgetown's run is truly bringing back childhood memories.

I truly love Georgetown basketball, it's up there with my love affair with the New York Mets. Back when I became a Georgetown fan (Patrick Ewing's freshman year) it was cool to love Georgetown in NYC. They were truly the first team for the urban black community, everyone in the hood loved Georgetown. They were angry, intimidating and they won.

Hell I didn't even known where Georgetown was, I thought it was a neighborhood in Staten Island. All I knew was that they had a black coach who taught an "us against the world" mentality and the coolest starter jacket EVER! It actually makes it more of a pop culture story given the University is actually filled with predominately white, conservative students who were represented in the public eye by a very black, very liberal man who was known to be occasionally threatening and condescending.

Reason #3 of 1,218,372,810 why I love sports. It transcends race and politics.

*****

I was driving home from work on Wednesday and riding down a busy area at 38th street and 9th Avenue. I saw the cars in front of my slowing down and I assumed it was just normal congestion.

Instead there was a man walking in the middle of the passing lane (a very busy passing lane) on 38th. He was crying and holding his hands out.

Needless to say people drove around him.

*****

Meanwhile, I'm not sure what I'll do today before the games. It will be around 80 degrees so maybe a stroll to the Northshore Beach/Vinoy Park is in order. I'm sure I'll see a ton of boaters out in the bay.

Enjoy your Sunday....even if it isn't 80 degrees.

Sunday Silliness

2007-03-18T10:28:00.000-05:00

I hope everyone had a good St. Patrick's Day. Mine was a bit of a bust, but it happens. We'll try again next year.

Here's a little childhood fun for your Sunday entertainment purposes.

If Only Because..

2007-03-15T18:19:00.000-05:00

...the advice on the first question is so funny I had to link to the latest edition of 'Dear Don'.

Although I wonder if any man would stick around to talk with a woman going through her period. Hmmm, this question should get me through my evening jog.

The Drive for 35...

2007-03-14T14:32:00.000-05:00

...Everyone who knows me knows I LOVE spring training. My goal each spring training season is 14 teams, eight different facilities and usually I hit that number or maybe go one under or one over.

Because of my job and those silly 9-5 requirements, I've been contained to weekend and night games and I'll probably only see five facilities.

*BTW the best spring training parks are in order: Wild World of Sports Complex at Disney (Atlanta); Joker Marchant Stadium in Lakeland (Detroit); Brighthouse Networks Field in Clearwater (Phillies); Dodgertown in Vero Beach (Dodgers, duh) and Legends Field in Tampa (Yankees)*.

Anyway, as I'm following the Grapefruit League standings, the Tampa Bay Devil Rays, my hometown team, are 1-12. Yes they are really really bad. So I'm calling it right now:

The Rays will go 28-134 this season.

In MLB the default number of victories is 35. If you just suit up with nine guys you are guaranteed 35 victories. It's like making a 200 on the SAT, the league gives you 35 victories for owning a franchise.

The Rays won't make the default.

28-134.

History will be made!

Guess Who's Back...

2007-03-12T00:41:00.000-05:00

...yes I've taken a recent dump on my blog but with Mudge closing his doors and Jilly getting a haircut, I decided I needed to attempt my 10th or 11th comeback (at times I forget).

Maybe I'll write more and just do it in shorter verses. In actuality my life isn't so interesting.

So with this come back I'm going to somewhat re-introduce myself by doing a self-imposed Q&A stolen directly from "Inside the Actors Studio" (one of my favorite shows).

Corey, what's your favorite word: 'Sweet'. I like that word. Something good happens in a friend's life. I might reply, 'Sweet'

Corey, what's your least favorite word: 'Wrong'. I don't like being wrong whether it's a question or an action. I don't have to be right, but there's no debate when you are wrong.

Corey, what turns you on: 'A sense of humor and enough confidence to make fun of yourself'. A nice generous 'C' cup doesn't hurt either. But in general I think we take ourselves and this life we live a little too seriously.

Corey, what turns you off: 'Ignorance'. I hate people who are just ignorant to society and will let anything spew out of their mouths without a clue of how shallow it might sound. We can all learn more each day and should want to learn more. People who are ignorant to everything in society still have the same voting and decision-making rights as I do. That should change.

Corey, what's your favorite sound: 'Group Laughter', I love hearing the sound of several people laughing. I love watching stand-up comedy for that reason. No. 2 is the sound of a dog yawning. I love that sound.

Corey, what's your least favorite sound: 'Sirens'. It's a repetitive, stinging, hard sound to withstand. And usually it means bad news for someone.

Corey, if you were not doing you chosen profession, what would you do: I'd try my hand at being an entertainer. An actor or a comedian. I actually think I could've been a good actor. Maybe not award-winning, but definitely a solid actor with some range and likeability. Think Kurt Russell but blacker and funnier.

Corey, what's your favorite curse word: 'Motherfucker'. I consider myself a well-schooled and practiced curser, but motherfucker is the one I love the most.

Corey, if heaven exists and you reach the pearly gates, what do you want god to tell you: "Your father has been waiting for you to get here. He wants to go bowling."

A Lesson in Time...

2007-02-26T22:48:00.000-05:00

A day is 24 hours. Whether it's a good day or a bad day, it all eventually comes to an end and leads into the next day.

Last Monday was close to perfect. A very good friend came into town Sunday afternoon. Someone who I hadn't seen in a long time but we've remained close. She wanted to stop through and visit on her way back to D.C.

We had a good time. We ate great food, had great conversation, drank plenty of wine. We spent Monday enjoying the beautiful Florida coastline in the bright sunshine.

I have a great respect for her. Yes she's gorgeous, most men are attracted to her. She's also very real, which is a term that I hate to use but seems oddly appropriate in this case. She's a lot more than the Ivy League law degree she possesses, something I always knew but was eager to learn again. And this was a great opportunity for me to learn more about her and her to learn more about me.

And just like that she was gone. It felt like a cruel trick, like someone is messing with my head again. But it wasn't a trick, it was time. For a second I lost track of time. I enjoyed walking in the sand at Fort DeSoto Park, wine tasting and watching the dolphins from the boardwalk on John's Pass. I didn't expect it to end so soon. But time had other plans.

Maybe we'll get together for some baseball over the summer, maybe we won't. As I learned this week when my Ledger Edge regrettably told me she isn't sure when she'll be back in Florida, take nothing for granted and enjoy every moment together.

Short Thoughts on the Oscars...

2007-02-26T14:35:00.000-05:00

...I wanted to get these thoughts in right after the show. The fact that it's 2:35 on Monday afternoon tells me the show probably went too long.

-- This show went on for a solid 3:46 and while it was slow in bits, I have no problem with the fact that it goes over time. It's not a made-for-TV event to begin with.

-- I thought Eddie Murphy got jobbed, but I loved Little Miss Sunshine so it's ok. I don't think the people were ready for "Eddie Murphy Academy Award Winner" especially after dealing with "Eminem Academy Award Winner" and "Three 6 Mafia Academy Award Winner". At least Eddie got his recognition, now he can go back and make $25 million for Dr. Doolittle 3: Electric Bugaloolittle.

-- Speaking of which. Scoreboard: Scorcese 1, Three 6 Mafia 1

-- I actually enjoyed Little Miss Sunshine more than The Departed, which sounds funny given my love of Scorcese gangster flicks and Jack Nicholson, but LMS was so damn quirky and nutty and unique. I just liked it. The Academy disagreed, I'm not shocked. I also thought The Gladiator sucked.

-- This was also Al Gore's night oddly enough between his funny little monolouge with Leo and his documentary winning an Oscar. I'm still waiting for him to kick off his "I Told You So" campaign of 2008, but something tells me the "popular president" enjoys this life of being showered with graces by the Hollywood community that loves him so.

-- Kate Winslet just gets better every day. Sam Mendes should just wake up every morning and apologize. Seriously am I alone in thinking that Winslet is like 20x hotter than most of the freaks Hollywood tries to shove in my face. She's talented, she's got that British accent thing going (which is a good considering she's British), she's not really trying to look that hot and it still works. Maybe it's just me, I don't think so though.

-- Speaking of hot women and the men who don't always deserve them...what the hell was Ryan Phillippe thinking? Way to lose out on that 10-carat diamond.

-- Did anyone see Dreamgirls besides me? I still don't understand how the film didn't get at least a director's nod. Best Picture, I dunno. That being said I was thinking Babel might've taken that sucker. Especially because it was so pleasant. I mean how many people thought about suicide after watching that movie? 95% I'm betting.

-- The remembrance portion of the show was very touching this year. A lot of former winners of there. I still remember Jack Palance doing those one-armed push ups. I'm shocked they didn't add Anna Nicole...hell I'm shocked they didn't add Martin Landau...but of course he's still living.

It Is Ok...

2007-02-21T13:53:00.000-05:00

...to actually want K-Fed to take the kids? Because after this latest episode (onto of the other two "latest episodes" this weekend), I think they are much better off with his stable lifestyle.

Some Links of Love...

2007-02-13T01:36:00.000-05:00

To all my ladies, I hope you have a Happy Valentine's Day. To all the homies out there, if you can avoid spending, do it. If you can't...hahahahahaha!

However to get you in the mood for love, I've got a few links to check out.

On the IFL TV website, former Mixed Martial Arts champion Don Frye has started to do a "Dear Abby" column that is about as funny as you can imagine.

Dear Don, Valentine's Day is coming up, and this is the first one with my girl. I'm not a real romantic guy and I know she expects something special, besides some half-dead flowers and an overpriced meal, so do you have any ideas/tricks I can use to please my lady and get me some booty this Valentine's?

Here’s what you do. Obviously, you’ve got a computer, so go on the internet and find a place that sells really nice wine. Next, print off a picture of the one the fancy bottles of wine, one of the real expensive ones. Then glue it on top of a cheap bottle.

Now that guy knows romance. In case Frye's tips for love are a little too much for you. Friend of the website, Jason Mulgrew, has a hilarious take on condoms.

Enjoy and if you see Cupid...kick his ass :)

The Dead Poll Claims Another...

2007-02-08T15:57:00.000-05:00

...Anna Nicole Smith found unconscious and later pronounced dead in my home state of Florida. 39 years old. Even though I'm always a bit cynical, I hate to see someone die, especially someone going through a very stressful period.

So if you or anyone you know is going through things that appear to be too much handle. Make sure they get help and if you can, help them pay for it.

Some Sunday Reading...

2007-02-04T13:47:00.000-05:00

A couple of snippets to enjoy on Super Bowl Sunday...

-- Joe Biden's kicks off and subsequently ends his 2008 campaign in the same New York Observer article. The most notable zinger is the Delaware Senator calling Barack Obama "the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy,". That's some nice smack right there and he's STILL apologizing for it.

Damn shame because I think Biden is a nice, hard-nosed alternative to many of the baby-kissing low-risk taking primary candidates. But he's not going to be able to overcome this one. Sorry man. Luckily no one lives in Delaware so you've got a job in the Senate for life.

-- And on the lines of describing people as atriculate, there's an excellent NYT article on why the word, while appearing to be complimentary on the surface can be quite demeaning as well. Very interesting piece and something you professionals should always think about.

Time to Shop...

2007-02-01T09:47:00.000-05:00

...Personal savings reach a low that hasn't been seen since the Depression Era.

How about you? Did you do a good job of saving money in 2006? You have any tips for those of us who spend uncontrollably (I consider myself a very average spender BTW)

If Anyone Is Heading to Minnesota Any Time Soon...

2007-01-30T22:51:00.000-05:00

...you might want to avoid those wrestlers.

And wear a jacket, I hear it gets pretty cold there. Even Prince moved to Vegas.

If I Had a Million Dollars...

2007-01-29T14:49:00.002-05:00

....I could buy Evander Holyfield's used ride and get the keys personally handed to me by him. And portions of the proceeds go to his foundation...I'm assuming the rest will go to child support for one his 200 kids.

No wonder the American dollar is lowering in value by the second.

Obama's Black Identity...

2007-01-28T15:15:00.000-05:00

...Yes I'm talking about this WP story that's got the white folks goin' crazy. How can black voters not fall in love with Barack Obama? As a matter of fact how can they (allegedly) support Hillary Clinton 3-to-1?

I can't for every black Democrat or black voter. Hell I can't speak for every black Democrat in my family. I can only speak for myself and why I haven't jumped on the Obama subway to salvation yet.

I don't know him.

And that was the crust of the story (which was ruined by a ton of bullshit in quotes). No one knows the guy. We've heard him, we've seen him, we like him, but we don't KNOW him.

No one knows a person until they can identify with their flaws. And I don't know Obama's flaws. Sure he's not a lifelong politico type, but that's not a flaw. I want to know what's not perfect about him and how he reacts to adversity. Not that adversity of a rough childhood, etc., but the adversity of being called out as a bitch and a traitor in public like Bush's crew did to Kerry and Kerry stood around like an idiot. I need to know Obama isn't going to stand around and take a punch to the face like that.

You see, I know Hillary Clinton. I love the Clintons, they are like family to me (and many black voters). I can identify with their negatives and appreciate their positives. I could see Bill and Hillary at my mom's family reunion in Elloree, South Carolina. I can see it now:

"Hey look mom, there's Uncle Bill and Aunt Hillary. You know Uncle Bill's always been my favorite uncle. He's so smart, he's funny, he has a subscription to Playboy. We were angry with him when Aunt Hillary caught him fucking cousin Chelsea's ninth-grade Civics teacher, but we saw that coming. And he probably needs to stop grabbing Aunt Cookie's ass too before Uncle Joe beats the shit out of him."

We love Bill Clinton and by that note we've learn to accept Hillary. She's not as dynamic as a husband, she doesn't command a crowd like her husband, she's not as cool or as flambouyant as her husband. But she's a fighter and we've seen her fight even when she was at her most vulnerable state. Punch Hillary Clinton and she'll punch back. She's not afraid to get her hands a little dirty. She's rough around the edges and her face tells the signs of the battles she's been through (no Botox doesn't hide it) and it tells the signs of the battles she's willing to wage.

And most of all.

I trust her....politically speaking.

Trust is a funny thing and it's on short supply. I can name the people I trust on three fingers. Mom, Dad and my sister Michelle. Everyone else in life has or will let me down or I have or will let them down. But politically speaking, Hillary hasn't really ever let me down. Sure she's disappointed me, but she's also surprised me. She said she'd represent the state of New York well and she has. She said she'd stand on her own when the opportunity to run for president came about and I believe she will.

This isn't to say I'm decided, because I'm not. But my vote doesn't come easy and it's going to take a lot more than being black to sway me and many black voters that Obama's campaign will need to sway. I want to see his fight, I want to see his flaws and I want to know that he won't desert me when the pressure gets too heavy. He'll have many opportunities to win a lot of votes in the next 12 months and I hope he takes advantage of those opportunities with a message that can resonate a base of American voters that want to give him a chance.

Besides it's not just Obama v. Hillary for me, wait until Al Gore starts him "See I told you so campaign".

Genarlow Wilson

2007-01-25T15:50:00.000-05:00

The first time I saw this on Real Sports it was one of the most disturbing cases of injustice that exists in today's landscape.

ESPN.com just did a fine job of putting the story on electronic print. Read it and read it again, it'll get more outlandish and disappointing each time.

Loup City = Stupid Lives Here

2007-01-23T10:11:00.000-05:00

This is a letter to the editor from my friend's newspaper. The names have not been protected because everyone should go to Loup City, knock on this guy's door and laugh uncontrollably at him.

Evolution a dangerous theory in today's schools.

It is interesting that schools keep teaching evolution. Here it is the public schools try to make students become better people, yet public schools teach evolution.

When kids are taught that all living things have a common ancestor (dirt, water and rocks) and are placed on earth at random chance, this gets placed into their conscience, making it a dangerous theory.

I mean, come on, if you're on earth for no apparent reason, then murder, drugs, rape and etc., should be OK to do, shouldn't it? Remember survival of the fittest.

This is why evolution is dangerous. It's especially dangerous to teach in schools when most of the time these ridiculous theories are taught as if they are a fact. If evolution has some supporting evidence to it, then maybe you could present it in schools, but the truth is there isn't a solitary piece of evidence out there for it. Macroevolution only takes place in the textbooks, and happened "long ago in a far off place." Since that's the case we should start teaching "The Little Mermaid" in schools as if it's fact.

Evolution is a dangerous theory that shouldn't be taught in schools.

John McDermott
Loup City

Weekend Roundup...

2007-01-22T13:45:00.000-05:00

..."Corey, you are the BEST thing that has ever happened to me." -- my friend Jana after I guaranteed a Colts victory on Thursday (although it was only 98% guarantee making it a technical guarantee).

Meanwhile, hooray for black coaches! And yes it's a big deal and yes it should be a big deal given that fact that the NFL has to employ a rule to force minority coaches. I've been lucky enough to spend time with Tony Dungy and to a lesser extent Lovie Smith while they were with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and more than anything it's a victory for professionalism.

Meanwhile Bill Belichick showed his true self again by blowing off Peyton Manning, way to be a sportsman there. And by sportsman I really mean miserable asshole. Nice to see guys like Brady and Bruschi and Richard Seymour seeking out players to congratulate them on a great game. Belichick doesn't deserve such a team of professionals.

Also I know Deion Branch was giggling when Reche Caldwell dropped all those open passes. Sad thing is I like Reche, good guy, went to high school around here. No I don't know what the deal is with his eyes. They are freaky.

-- Meanwhile Floyd Mayweather Sr. wins the "Blood is thicker than water but the cost of gas is outrageous award" for demanding $2 million to assist in beating his son's ass.

My dad and I are like best friends now, it hasn't always been like that but these days we're pretty much inseperable. However even in those days when we didn't see eye-to-eye he would've never given the town bully cash to catch me in an alley and teach me a lesson.

-- Non-sports stuff. Hillary is in and ready for action. She's going to be tough to take down and even though some Dems are a little weary of her, she's a Clinton and they will jump on that horse in due time. Even Obama is keeping his options open.

Does Hillary have a little baggage? Sure. But she's tough and she's so tough that the fact she's trying to become the first woman to win a party's nomination isn't even going to be an issue.

I'm glad Republicans are scared of her. I'm not surprised some Democrats are as well because...a lot of Democrats are pussies and scared of anything Republicans tell them to be scared of. So one of Hillary's first goals is going to be to toughen up her base. Realize that some issues might come up and that the base has to be strong to face these things head on.

-- Meanwhile the Republican race could completely rule the earth. You've got Newt Gingrinch with an exploratory committee along with former New York politicians Rudy Guiliani and George Pataki.

The Pataki-Guiliani dynamic is especially fun since I don't think they are particularly close. Guiliani sold Pataki up the river in the 1994 Gubernatoral elections when he supported Mario Cuomo because...well because Cuomo is a city boy and Pataki isn't.

As far as beliefs go, both New Yorkers are at best moderates and one could argue both are left of center. Pataki is into the environment big time and supports gay rights, stem-cell research, etc. etc. Guiliani goes one step farther and actually embraces illegal immigration...(unless they are from Africa, in which case he kindly asks the police force to brutalize them)

Guiliani also has a strong history of infidelity and controversial political bargaining that should quickly end his love affair with America after the 9-11 attacks.

I'm sure John McCain is smiling at all of this.

Enter The Caption Time!

2007-01-19T17:07:00.000-05:00

"Damn George, I know these Iraqi Study Group briefings are boring but can you try to stay awake!"

Is America Ready?

2007-01-16T18:17:00.000-05:00

I hope so.

He'll have to deal with questions about why his first name sounds too much like 'Osama' and why his middle name is 'Hussein', but when it comes down to it, he could be the man to bring this nation's leadership back from the grips of stupidity and carelessness that it currently sits in.

Random Weekend Goodies -- International Pop Stars Edition

2007-01-14T11:07:00.000-05:00

With nothing really exciting to talk about I just wanted to get some things off my chest after losing a good chunk of spare change in low-stakes Hold 'Em. I'm convinced there's no worst hand to go all-in on than pocket 10s:

Moving on.

-- I still believe Super Tecmo Bowl to be the most addicting sports game in history. It used to be the absolute best, but future video game technology has really exposed the lack of control and rules in the old NES classic. That being said, how awesome would STB be in Nintendo would've made it compatible with 4-way play? I mean say you're a single man in his 20s and/or 30s and not feeling like dealing with the bar scene on a weekend night...If you're friend calls you and says "We're playing 4-way Super Tecmo Bowl" you'd be over there in like negative 9 minutes. Seriously, I'd be over there nine minutes before he made the call. Super Tecmo Bowl, a few cold ones and a full iPod hooked up to the house's speakers. That's a man's Saturday night my friend.

-- I'm not sure what's going to get me through the football off-season until the opening day of MLB. I'm patiently awaiting the next Real World/Road Rules challenge to help me through February and March.

-- I'll never forget when my friend Stephanie told me that Kylie Minogue had breast cancer and my all-too-quick reply was "thank god she doesn't have ass cancer". That wasn't the most sensitive thing to say and I'm glad she's recovered. Still if she had ass cancer I'd be highly depressed.

-- Also Kylie is the star of the greatest commercial ever at anything. This is only suitable for work if you work at home.

-- I really don't know what to think about this whole Missouri abduction thing. It's strange. The kid has been there for 4.5 years to the point of where they really weren't hiding? What if he was happy there? What if he and his kidnapper played "Gears of War" for hours at a time on XBox Live and were living the teenage dream? There's got to be more to this story.

-- My best XMas gift to myself -- Finding "Enter the Dragon" at Best Buy for $4.99.

-- I've always been interested in the following of world football star David Beckham and now that he's coming to the states I can see what kind of effect he has on people close up. On the surface he appears to be some blonde footballer that chicks love with a sorta-hot wife, but I'm a journalist and my natural instinct tells me there's something more. Does he possess some sort of special Spidey sense? Who knows. One thing I do know is that he and his wife, Posh Spice Beckham, are practicing Kabbalahs which gives the Hollywood Kabbalah sect another ally against the Hollywood Scientologists. To me this Kabbalah v. Scientology battle is going to be as big as the Shit'es vs. Sunnis by the time we reach the 28th century. You watch. Personally I thought Beckham would be perfect for the New York MLS team because one of his sons is named "Brooklyn".

Speaking of the Spice Girls I was always partial to Geri Halliwell. Not sure it if's because of my general affection of redheads or because she was the least talented, meaning she had the best chance to make money. The latter had been proven to be true.

And the fact that at least four of the five had great success with their solo careers in the UK proves one thing -- Europeans continue to have shitty taste in music.

-- Otherwise I might have good news this week. I also might not have good news. If you don't see any good news from me assume the latter. Enjoy your Sunday!

Top 5 Mudge Head Scratches (No. 4)

2007-01-12T12:07:00.000-05:00

4. The Roots - "The Next Movement": Ok, I really can't get on Mudge for not placing The Roots on his countdown since they are still tiptoeing the line between underground and mainstream. That being said the Philadelphia group is highly underappreciated and extremely different than most thanks to the fact that they are a complete instrumental group relying more on ?uestlove's drumming skills and Kamal's keyboarding over the typical sound of two turntables. I believe this song was released around 1998 with the video coming in 1999 and both are well ahead of their time.

If you've never heard the Roots, you should listen. I think you'll like.

Lurkers Beware...

2007-01-12T11:57:00.000-05:00

...I wish I would've known it's "National De-Lurking Week" before now because I would demand you lurkers to identify yourselves!

However today is the last day of de-lurking week so you don't have to. But *I'd* appreciate it if you did :).

Lots of Good Health Links...

2007-01-11T11:36:00.000-05:00

...Now that 2007 has begun and we're all back on that "I gotta get in shape" mode I figured I'd throw up some pretty good health links I found from Lifehacker.

Mudge had originally put up a WikiHow link on running 5K over nine weeks, but in case you don't want to scramble through his archives, here it is again. If you are ready to step up and get your six-pack, go here. Interested in Yoga? There's a website that will deliver you a free Yoga video each day through iTunes.

It's also important to eat healthy and eat properly. For me that's taking a big chunk out of my red meat intake (and crying all the while). As a matter of fact, I've pretty much given up chicken as well. We're going with seafood and lean turkey for a while. If you are counting calories here's a visual guide of what 200 calories looks like. I might actually have to hit up my Ledger Edge for some vegetarian cooking and some of the lower calorie sushi options.

And Traineo claims it's the web's most effective way to reach weight loss and fitness goals. I'm skeptical, but it's free so I'll check it out.

So there you go, good luck gentleman and ladies. Hopefully we'll revive the Philly 8K blog soon enough and start encouraging each other again.

Top 5 Mudge Head Scratchers (No. 5)

2007-01-09T18:08:00.000-05:00

Basically the reason for this mini-list is because Mudge and I switched role last month with me listing my favorite hair band "jams" and he listed his favorite rap tunes.

I thought he did a great job on his list and I pretty much liked every song he put out there (even though I question whether "Sabotoge" is a rap song, I still love it) and I certainly appreciate the efforts to extend his versatility past "Rico Suave" :).

However, he had some omissions that left me scratching my head give the general trend of where most of his countdown went. So I want to list the five songs I think should've found a place on his countdown. The position is irrelevant, but they should've been shown some love. And if he never heard the song, even more reason to check it out.

So here we go.

5. Big Daddy Kane -- "Ain't No Half Steppin'": How can you forget BDK Mudge? Straight out of Brooklyn and this cat could still outbattle 95% of the jokers out there. Given that the list was filled with primarily East Coast lyricists I'm shocked that Big Daddy didn't make an appearance. Now why do I love this song? Because it's one of the greatest intros to BDK's style. So smooth, so slick, a perfect mixture of braggadocio and tempo. Plus the closing line is pure poetry -- I'll just break him and bake him and rake him and take him and mold him and make him, hold up the peace sign...Assalam walaikum. WHAT?!?! It takes a lyrical genius to throw down the universal message of peace to close.

Happy Tuesday....

2007-01-09T10:43:00.000-05:00

....Wow, how tired am I? I'm polishing off a Von Dutch energy drink and I feel more tired than I did before I started drinking it.

I won't be too long winded this morning because, as I said, I'm tired and right now blogging constitutes work. However, I will say that things appear to be looking up. I had a good weekend from a professional standpoint and that's always exciting.

I've also gotten to really toy with my iPod shuffle. Honestly this is the perfect musical device for me because I no longer have to sort through songs. Right now I'm going to add 3 songs a week. I'm starting with 30 and from there I'll add just three songs a week. Right now it's a pretty interesting mix -- a little Robert Randolph, a little U2, a little Kayne West, a little John Legend, a little Stevie Wonder, a little Creedence Clearwater Revival and even a couple of INXS songs for the big Michael Hutchence fan that occasionally stops by.

I'm going to have another short countdown spent off of Mudge's Top 20 rap songs and I promise I'll get more in depth on some important things tomorrow.

First of 2007

2007-01-04T18:48:00.000-05:00

I needed a few days to decide how I wanted to ring in 2007...or I was busy with work in Orlando. Probably the latter. However, I will blog more frequently and consistently in the new year so even during times of congestion in my life, I will express thoughts on electronic paper.

It has rained every day of 2007 so far and it seems pretty symbolic because it's been a dreary beginning...or at least until Notre Dame got completely punked last night. But today it was sunny and so was my outlook on things.

I'm a little worried that will be the ebb and flow of the early part of 2007. Some days will be filled with sunshine and others with rain and that's probably not a bad thing because we all need a little rain in our lives. Rain forces us to slow down when we are driving on slick roads, it forces us to stay home and read a book or pay some bills. Rain makes us stop and think. Most importantly it will make us appreciate the sunshine a little more.

It's human nature to complain about what we don't have. Hell I do it all the time and I probably will continue to do it. However, I can't complain about the lack of opportunity right now. Because today I have the opportunity to get a more....and create new complaints about the things I don't have once I get the current things I want.

Down Goes the Dictator...

2006-12-30T01:14:00.000-05:00

...I'm still not sure if Saddam's hanging is the right thing.

Did he deserve it? Probably, but at the end of the day was it worth it?

Still haven't caught or punished the people responsible for 9/11.

Iraq is in a catatrosphic civil war, one that has claimed lives of innocent civilians and American military which stretching said military to fumes.

There's no doubt that the person who made the call to go to Iraq hasn't a clue what he was doing nor does he have a clue of what to do next or how to fix it.

Or course I found this quote from Bush to be very rich -- "the kind of justice he denied the victims of his brutal regime." Fact is this was a personal vendetta all along and it had nothing to do with Saddam's treatment of the people of a nation since Bush could give a shit about those people.

This all just feels like a bad Western flick that no one can write an ending for.

Hanging Out With My Ledger Edge

2006-12-28T13:20:00.000-05:00

I haven't written about my Ledger Edge in a while, at least not since she left the newspaper we worked at about a good year before I left the same newspaper. Well she left to move to Tampa (gasp a whole 30 miles away at the time) and after a strong couple of years of working for "corporate" she decided to pursue a graduate degree at Indiana.

I was excited when she told me she'd be back in town for the holidays. I wanted to eat sushi with her since I had only eaten sushi once before and the fact that I actually tried sushi would shock her enough (in actuality the stuff ain't bad with enough ginger and soy sauce on it). She, of course, enjoys sushi like 10 times a month since she's a vegetarian and I guess sushi is to vegetarians what steak is to carnivores.

Anyway the sushi never materialized as she had a pretty busy stay in the Sunshine State. However, we happened to be in the same place on Tuesday and decided to hit the local pub for a cider.

Most of time was spent talking about her boyfriend. I'm pretty tough on the guys she dates....she might say that's an understatement, but I don't think I'm completely unreasonable. Besides most of them were douchebags.

Case in point, her boyfriend gets some good marks from me. He seems to be nice and helpful and cares about her very much. Her description -- "He constantly tells me I'm the greatest thing that ever happen to him" (you are) and "he worships the ground I walk on" (he should). She also informs me that he picks her up to take her class when it's too cold (which is often, especially for a natural Floridian like herself). And he's quite the whippersnapper, only 24 (yes the Ledger Edge likes 'em young) but already in the doctorate program for computer science.

This isn't to say he's got some flaws...major flaws...He's a cat owner for one thing. I have a big problem with guys owning cats. Now I like the fact that the young man has a pet, pets build character. But a guy can't own a cat, especially while there are good dogs that are in need of male leadership. Dog is man's best friend after all. And if you aren't allowed to have dogs where you live...try an Iguana or a Ferret or something cool like that.

Guys owning cats...I just can't get into it. A cat is the equivalent of a guy owning a purse.

I won't get into more of our conversation because it's personal and I know she reads this stuff and she's already going to be mad at me for mentioning the whole cat thing. But it was great to spend some time laughing and catching up with her. She's doing well at IU and I'm real proud of her, but I really miss her.

Fill My iPod Shuffle...

2006-12-26T20:31:00.000-05:00

...please :)

I received one of these little (and I mean little) diddies for the holiday. It's part of my plan to downsize in 2007. Moving into a smaller, more cozy apartment, possibly getting a smaller car, working less hours, eating less (and healthier food) ~~and possibly buying a smaller TV~~.

Anyway I've already got those larger iPods with the 30-40 gigs of space but this little shuffle is better for listening to music while I workout and, to be honest, how many times do you listen to more than 240 songs in a single setting? Probably not often.

Anyway I've got about 50 songs I can't live without so I piled all of those on there, but I want you, my faithful readers, to give me suggestions for the other 190-200 songs. Tell me what you like, whether it be old or new, tell me which songs you can't live without.

Top 10 Hair Band Jams (#1)

2006-12-26T10:23:00.000-05:00

After a day of observance for the death of James Brown, we can now finish the countdown. The envelope please.

1. Motley Crue -- "Dr. Feelgood": There was no doubt in my mind that the "Crue" was going to be number one. I make no mistake in believing that they, not Poison, were the signature band of that genre. Some people may argue my song of choice by saying that Motley Crue was no longer considered a glam metal band when they released the Dr. Feelgood album. That's a fair argument but I counter by saying just because the band survived the destruction of the genre doesn't mean they were any less a part of the genre. They need to be applauded for being good enough to survive when many didn't. That being said every Crue song was fair game.

My first thought was using "Girls Girls Girls", as that was the signature song of the band in that era and the epitome of what the Crue was about. However, it just isn't that good of a song. I enjoy "Home Sweet Home" but I've already had plenty of power ballads on this countdown. I also considered "Wildside" and "Kickstart My Heart", but in the end Dr. Feelgood is my absolute favorite Crue song for both musical content and the message.

Musically it starts with a terrific drum intro by Tommy Lee (a highly underrated musician which is partially his own fault) and continues with a hard sound that pumps adrenaline through the system. It was also the peak of a band that was confident enough in their music that they didn't need to do anymore of the silly antics.

And this story of a young man who rose to power through the drug dealing game is so ironic because at the time the Crue made this album, they were trying to get away from Dr. Feelgood. In the end he was destroyed and so were many of the band's addictions to drugs. Or at least the really really bad drugs. Anyway, here's the No. 1 hair band jam of all time. Dr. Feelgood.

A Christmas Without Soul...

2006-12-25T03:57:00.000-05:00

...Early in the Christmas morning James Brown, the Godfather of Soul, passed away leaving this world devoid of his soulful soungs.

It's 4 a.m. and I'm wrapping presents so this might sound a little disjointed but I can safely say that James Brown was one of the 10 most influenitial recording artists of the modern era.

He now joins Charlie Chaplin and Dean Martin as famous stars who died on Christmas. RIP

Top 10 Hair Band Jams (#2)

2006-12-23T03:23:00.000-05:00

2. Poison -- "Talk Dirty to Me": No surprise here as the quintessential hair band of the 80s comes in with arguably it's more identifiable hit. Not to say this was Poison's biggest hit, that would be "Every Rose Has Its Thorn", but this was the song that started the Peak of Poison and led to several other hits including "Nothing But a Good Time" (which was highly considered for the position), "Unskinny Bop"...which bares the question..what the hell is an unskinny bop? And, of course, another power ballad with "Something to Believe In".

Don't be mistaken, despite a very overtly glam style, the boys from Mechanicsburg, PA were very successful.

This was Poison at its finest. The band members still geniunely liked each other at this point...or they were all high beyond belief. On second thought it's probably both. Either way some of my fave hair band video staples include the three-man bumrush towards the camera during the intro of the song.

Top 10 Hair Band Jams (#3)

2006-12-22T11:25:00.000-05:00

3. Warrant -- "Heaven": This was originally going to be "Cherry Pie" but when Kellie questioned the status of Tesla, I knew I needed a true blue power ballad to round this countdown out.

So what can be said about Warrant that hasn't already been said about Republicans, Bill O'Reilly, castor oil and anything else that sucks? Another L.A.-based glam metal band that was heavy into groupies, drugs, alcohol, fights with other bands (especially Poison...did anyone not in Poison actually like Poison?).

That being said I can't argue with success and songs that made me long for the early days of high school. "Heaven" would be one of those and while it doesn't have the same memories of "Love Song" (ahhh Jenny Gough), it is the ultimate power ballad (yes it's better than "Every Rose Has Its Thorn" and no I will not argue that).

Apparently Warrant is still doing their thing but without lead vocalist Jani Lane, which technically means the band is extinct since Warrant IS friggin Jani Lane!

Anyway we're going to switch up the videos and give you a LIVE performance from the 1989 MTV Video Music Awards. Enjoy

Top Ten Hair Band Jams (#4)

2006-12-21T14:15:00.000-05:00

4. Ratt -- "Round and Round": Only two groups embraced the L.A. glam metal hair scene better than Ratt (I'll let you guess who both of them are). Created by Stephen Pearcy, I pretty much though Ratt fell off the face of the earth in the late 80s, early 90s with the earth politely saying "thank you".

But a trip to Wikipedia shows me that these guys have pretty much been reuniting, bitching, reuniting again, bitching some more and reuniting one last time since about 1990. Oh yeah one of them died in a heroin overdose, which was originally claimed to be AIDS because you know, dying from banging groupies is much more honorable than dying from needled-induced narcotics.

None the less, here's Ratt at its finest.

Man how hard up for cash was Milton Berle to volunteer to do this video. Was Johnny Carson pissed at him or something?

Top 10 Hair Band Jams (#5)

2006-12-21T11:43:00.000-05:00

Winger -- "Medley": Now there's NO question that this is a hair band. Hell these guys lived and breathed the hair-band area. Talentless hacks you say? Well maybe, but I think their drummer is actually like a professor at Berkeley or something.

Anyway, I can't get enough of these guys and Kip Winger might've been the best hair-band lead singer ever when it came to performing in a music video. Count the number of pirohuettes that he does in an average song. Like 50? Plus don't you love how he stops playing bass and spins the minute the camera is on him, like he's hiding his riffs or something.

Now the reason for the medley is because I can't decide which Winger song I like better. Technically they had four "hits" but "Seventeen" is the definitive song due to the disturbing topic of Kip, who was at least 33, digging on a 17-year-old groupie.

However, I'm more partial to "Madalaine" because I think it's a better song...although I wonder if Kip is singing about the same chick in both songs...Anyway, the video is WAY more cheesy and fun (and cheesier than "Seventeen" is saying something). Kip is at the peak of his full smile, pirohuetting glory and the band just seems like they are having the time of their lives. Think any drugs were involved?

Top 10 Hair Band Jams (Face-Off)

2006-12-21T11:35:00.000-05:00

Ok, this isn't part of the countdown due to a dissenting opinion, so I'm leaving it to you, my few and faithful readers, to tell me whether this band is classified as hair or not.

Tesla.

Quick disclosure. I fucking love Tesla. "Love Song" is a personal fave of mine, mostly because of the wonderful memories from ninth grade (ahhh Jenny Gough...still very cute to this date). However, my good friend Kellie disputes Tesla's hair status. Actually first she called them a one-hit wonder, which is just...wrong! Tesla had TWO hits.

Anyway, the song that was going to be No. 3 on this countdown is officially off the list. However, for me and every other dude in high school who thought about someone when this song came on I give you the complete version of "Love Song".

Top 10 Hair Band Jams (#8, #7)

2006-12-20T17:08:00.000-05:00

8. Lita Ford -- "Kiss Me Deadly": Technically Lita Ford isn't a hair band, she's just a groupie gone good. Ok, I don't know about her groupie history...but c'mon. Anyway, I definitely wanted a female presence on this countdown since...well females in the glam rock era were usually ignored unless they were involved in the post-show orgy. Still Lita shows she can glam it out with the best of them in this rock classic thus beating out her main competition, Vixen, who achieved chick glam rock status with "Edge of a Broken Heart."

Cute little diddy isn't it.

7. Britny Fox -- "Girlschool": One of the best guilty pleasure songs of glam rock era came from these swinging cats out of Philly. Long before the whole Britney Spears crazy with chicks wearing school girl outfits there was Britny Fox (Britney...Britny...hmmm, nah...just a coincidence). Anyway, the truth is I actually kind of like this song. There are a few on here I like a little more, but all things considered, I feel like this song would be a hit on today's radio.

Ok, that whole thing about liking this song or feeling like it would be a hit on today's radio...total bullshit. But the key to the song is the gratuitous amount of chicks dancing around. A glam classic :)

Top 10 Hair Band Jams (#10 & #9)

2006-12-19T10:02:00.000-05:00

10. Queensryche -- Silent Lucidity: When I thought of where to kick start this countdown it had to be with Queensryche. While most hair bands are about drugs, alcohol, chicks, driving Corvettes and Rave hair spray, Queensryche was different. They were the smart man's hair band and they hit topics like gun control and preserving the environment. Real deep stuff. So you knew if any group could bring the power to the power ballad it's Queensryche. They bring the guitars, they bring the orchestra and they bring out some heartfelt lyrics that could bring tears to any man. I present Silent Lucidity!

Beautiful isn't it.

9. Slaughter -- Up All Night: Now we're going to the total opposite end of the spectrum here. All those things that Queensryche is about...you know gun control, environment, weird dreams and shit...Well Slaughter isn't about any of that crap. I'm still convinced "Fly to the Angels" is about a cocaine overdose. Anyway, this song has no real deep meaning. It's about partying all night, sleeping all day and doing it all over again. Gotta love those glam rockers.

Now this is a glam video. The drum set is like 500 pieces. Bunch of chicks dancing, dude spinning around and jumping and shit. It's just great. How did this genre of music die?

More tomorrow.

Time for My Christmas Countdown...

2006-12-19T09:48:00.000-05:00

...and this is a special one for this community as one of the members of my virtual blog network has decided that he can no longer be the man he used to be.

Curmudgeon is dead. It's a tough loss, but this is a good thing as he's found new reasons to live (namely a woman...but I'm sure he got a raise or something as well). So as my Christmas gift to him and truly everyone in the network, but mainly him, I'm going through with my final countdown of the year. Only 10 songs for me, no weird odd numbers because I ain't got time for it.

However the theme is more important than the number because these ten songs are:

THE TOP 10 HAIR BAND JAMS!

You might not know this about me, but I've got a wild side. I've got a crazy side. Sometimes I want to do nothing more then wake up to the melodious sounds of Trixster on my iPod. Now granted most of the time it's Kanye West or John Legend or Al Green or someone talented, but every now and then I need to scream and enjoy a bunch of pasty white guys twirling and wearing half shirts while singing about diddling with underage chicks (i.e. Kip Winger).

However, before I decided to venture into this countdown, I had to define which bands are "hair" and which bands are just good rock bands. Here's the verdict on some bands that seem to walk the line between "hair" and "legit".

Guns-N-Roses: Rock
Warrant: Hair
Motley Crue: Hair (this was a toughie)
Aerosmith: Rock with receding hair
Poison: Hair
Journey: Crappy music with hair
Metallica: Bitter Rock

You get the general idea. I have to be done with this by Christmas Eve so I can have fun with a spoofy Year in Review before I ring in 2007.

This is pretty clever...

2006-12-18T17:27:00.000-05:00

...and one of the reasons why I love visiting Lifehacker on a daily basis. Today one of their tips is how to digitize your cassettes because we all know we've got some old tapes and we've probably made a few for some chick (or some dude in the ladies cases) that we dug back in the junior high school days.

Plus it's good for Mudge to keep all of his old White Lion tapes from going extinct since god willing they don't sell any of that awful music in a bonafide music store :).

Seriously if you have important things on cassette and you want to move them to your PC or iPod or whatever. Check this out.

Jeff Pearlman vs. John Rocker...

2006-12-15T13:47:00.000-05:00

"Jeff Pearlman is who he is: A liberal Jew from New York. He's one of their own, who spent a couple of hours with me, pulled things out of context, and you're trying to create a persona of an individual when you don't know them." -- John Rocker from his interview in Deadspin.

"John Rocker is right. I am a liberal Jew from New York with an agenda. I have two African-American nephews who I want to grow up in a world indifferent to the color of their skin. I have gay friends who deserve the same love and respect and legal protections as everyone else. I don't condemn people for not speaking English, just as I don't condemn Rocker for speaking moron." -- Jeff Pearlman from ESPN.com Page 2 column.

An Interesting Movie to Pull....

2006-12-13T23:49:00.000-05:00

....a quote from but there was a spot in this movie "Drumline" where one of the characters talks with the other about how he lost sight of what was important because he let his personal ego get in the way. And the end result was that we all occasionally lose sight of things.

I think I've lost sight of who I am and what I love. I gave up something I loved because my ego told me that I was better than the job. And maybe I was better than the job and maybe I needed to experience a different opportunity. But in the process I gave up something I loved to do and I see how it's beginning to effect my spirit and my energy.

Hopefully getting back to my blog will help me begin to recover what I lost. In the end I know I'll be faced with a tough decision, but it will be the right decision.

Tift County Gets Crunk...

2006-12-12T10:08:00.000-05:00

Why does high school football in the South rule? Because schools aren't afraid to get crunk. The homies and non-dancing white boys from Tift County make you do the Devil Walk.

Yeah...you know you're bobbing your head. Don't deny it.